Individuals enter the D/s lifestyle in many ways, and for many reasons. Some believe the myths that surround the lifestyle and figure they’re going to jump right in and have a life of limitless sex with multiple partners once they get hooked-up with a network of D/s practitioners. Others think it will be a piece of cake to peruse the sex-rags or online sites and find the perfect partner to pair up with to start a life of perfect bliss as a Dom or sub. But just because these and all the others have the desire to begin a D/s lifestyle doesn’t automatically take humanity out of the equation.
Humans are complex individuals that have an abundance of mental, emotional, physical, and even spiritual wants and needs. Add to that a lifetime of experiences—both positive and negative—and it makes each person’s perspective different when sizing up and participating with a possible mate. In fact, it is just as hard—and often harder—to find the perfect D/s partner as it is for them to find the perfect spouse. And we all have heard the horrendous divorce rates that get publicized every year.
I first became acquainted with the D/s lifestyle in a rather limited way while still a teenager. Since then my experience—both actual and research—has grown over a few decades. That experience included an array of possible mates that never made it past my criteria for serious consideration. The simple fact was, although my personality is well suited to be a Dom in the D/s lifestyle, my first priority was looking for a loving life-mate—someone that was so compatible with me that we had a better than average chance at staying together “till death do us part.”
Prior to connecting with kat—who is by far the most perfect soul-mate I could ever hope to find in a million lifetimes—I did have one long-term sub in a common-law marriage that lasted until she passed away after years of battling a terminal illness.
Along with a diverse background of life experiences I have a solid background in psychology. And I have found that individuals with the best chance of finding what they are truly seeking in the D/s lifestyle are the same type of individuals who seek compatibility and love in their choice of spouses/life-mates. In any loving relationship you need a solid foundation built on friendship, compatibility, communication and love—along with the willingness of both partners to put forth the necessary effort to maintain the relationship—to give it the best possible chance of succeeding.
I plan on doing a series on building a solid relationship foundation in the near future, which if maintained, gives the couple the best possible chance at a “till death do us part” relationship. And I, along with my sexy adorable sub, encourage anyone that is considering the D/s lifestyle to seek out a mate that is truly compatible with them. In other words, a perfect pair can easily adapt to the D/s lifestyle; but an incompatible pair can never find contentment in any long-term relationship—much less the D/s lifestyle that requires so much trust between the couple.