A love foundation

{The predominant perspective of this blog (ALPHA & kat) deals with loving and compatible couples that utilize the D/s lifestyle to enhance their relationships.}



Will friendship love suffice for a D/s lifestyle? How about brotherly/sisterly love? Absolutely not! In fact, nothing but true unconditional love should be the solid foundation to build a D/s lifestyle on. Anyone that thinks they can get away with building a successful D/s lifestyle with anything other than unconditional love is only fooling themselves, and they will eventually watch their foundation deteriorate over time.

It is true that friendship and compatibility are essential elements to the relationship foundation, along with open communication, as I have pointed out in earlier posts. But the power that holds it all together is unconditional love. Unconditional love creates the proper environment for complete trust, respect, and a level of communication that is unheard of in any other relationship. And each of the aforementioned elements are necessary ingredients in relationships that have a power exchange between the participants.


We all know couples with one or both partners claiming to love each other, and yet, their actions show something quite different. They cheat, lie, and make promises that they continually break…along with a variety of other distrustful actions.

Trust, however, is an essential ingredient in the D/s lifestyle. The power exchange will never develop to its full capacity and potential if the partners lack trust in each other. For instance, think of the sub’s perspective. Would you want to be bound, gagged, and about to be punished by someone you cannot trust completely? Would you feel safe putting yourself under the control of someone who has repeatedly broken promises in the past?

In other words, love without trust isn’t real love at all. And the same goes for disrespect.


Similar to above, we all seem to know couples that claim to love each other, and yet, their actions and words show nothing but disrespect. One or both belittles the other, points out all their flaws, calls them derogatory names, and even humiliates them in public. Simply put, they have no concept of what true unconditional love is all about. Therefore, any D/s relationship built on such a precarious foundational trait will eventually see the foundation crumble.

Unconditional Love:

Unconditional love is nonjudgmental. It is trustworthy and respectful. It places the wants and needs of your mate above your own. In other words, it holds itself to the highest standards of human conduct. And in the D/s lifestyle, or any lifestyle that has a power exchange between partners, it is the only type of love that you should consider building your relationship foundation upon. Anything less will eventually deteriorate, crumble, and fall.

10 thoughts on “A love foundation

  1. This is a great post. So many don’t seem to realize how vitally important this is to maintain and nurture a relationship.

    We are extremely blessed/lucky to have a marriage (almost 20 years) that has always been based on unconditional love, putting each other first, and understanding that we are both imperfect. Forgiveness is quick. Kindness, support, striving to do better, respectful communication are all constants. We incorporated D/s into our marriage only a few years ago and I don’t think I would have been interested let alone brave enough to ask him to consider it if we hadn’t had this foundation to our relationship already.

    Thank you for your words of wisdom.

    Liked by 1 person

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