Being a Dom isn’t about issuing orders, subjugating your partner, blindfolds, ropes, and spankings–though these things do have their place in the bedroom. And being a Dom isn’t for the faint of heart; it’s a tremendous responsibility.
What makes a real Dom–not a kink-only Dom–one who can successfully guide a 24/7 D/s relationship? I imagine that every Dom and every sub has a pretty good idea of what they would put on a list of important Dominant attributes, and no two lists would be exactly the same.
With this in mind, below are the qualities that are a must in my eyes. What would be on your list?
(I use only masculine pronouns for brevity)
Is a leader–
Takes initiative, makes sure things get done, doesn’t expect or want His sub to be a mother who handles every aspect of their lives.
Doesn’t belittle, degrade, or publicly humiliate His sub. Laughs with, not at.
Is worthy of respect–
Keeps His word. Proves that He can be trusted with His sub’s heart and wellbeing.
Can control His emotions–
Especially anger, which can harm His sub both emotionally and physically if allowed free rein.
Holds Himself accountable–
Doesn’t expect a higher standard of conduct from His sub than He sets for Himself.
Protects His sub from harm–
Be it from outside forces, Himself, or the sub.
And this needs no explanation.
My Alpha has “strong shoulders”, both physically, and more importantly, metaphorically; He bears a Dominant’s responsibilities well and without complaint, and does His best to provide what I need. I can only hope I do the same for Him.