I’ve read a few posts recently that have dealt with periods when distance is a factor in maintaining their D/s dynamic. Traveling for business, family obligations, long-distance relationships, and even vacations or weekend trips can disrupt the flow of the D/s dynamic, especially in new D/s relationships. And each couple must communicate and decide how to handle these separations when they arise.
Some can be handled easily if it is feasible to go as a couple. But that’s not always the case. And some family obligations and trips actually involve members (such as children) of a prior family and are not conducive to your present relationship, for whatever reason. But with the trust built up in the D/s dynamic, along with constant communication between Dom and sub, and perhaps a bit of technology, all of these situations can be dealt with easily. All the couple has to do is take the time to work it out.
I’ve read how some Doms text or leave a list of rules or to-do lists for the sub to handle, and require the sub to show proof of the tasks being done. Others keep in contact with phone conversations. And still more get a bit more intimate with Skype. Each of these, and various others, do these in order to help the D/s dynamic remain as fluid as possible during these periods of absence. And I’m here to tell you that there is no “best” way. It’s whatever works best for you in each situation, and that may vary with each event. But it is a good idea to at least do one of them to ensure the fluidity of the D/s dynamic in your relationship, along with keeping both Dom and sub in the right state of mind.
Some of you already know, but for those who don’t, kat and I actually started with a long-distance relationship. In fact, it was a very long distance, but as the adage states, “Love conquers all,” even distance if it is truly unconditional love. And the computer and phone played very important roles in the progression of our friendship to lovers prior to becoming a loving D/s couple.
Don’t worry I’ll spare you the quaint but lengthy and redundant facts of that progression. However, I will state that our first form of sexual intimacy actually took place over the phone. Hey, quit laughing, it’s true! And it was fucking great, because neither of us had ever had any type of phone sex before, and we did what felt natural to us, not what bored ass phone sex operators do with scripted dialogue for a specific amount of minutes being paid for.
When I suggested it, kat was more than willing to try because of wanting to please me, but she honestly thought she wouldn’t be able to keep focused, and would probably giggle a lot. But she quickly learned that just because it’s over a phone it doesn’t alter our personalities. I’m a natural Alpha, and have been since my earliest recollections, though I didn’t know what to call it at that young age. So I immediately took control, kat responded in kind, and I brought us both to not one but two orgasms within a fairly short period, which, as you might imagine, surprised the heck out of kat. But we’ve both come to realize, that unlike previous relationships, we’re so compatible that everything new we try we slip into easily together.
Because of our unusual beginning, when obligations cause periods of separation for me and kat, we often fall back on the novelty of a phone connection to keep our D/s dynamic equally connected. The intimacy of our voices in each other’s ears inspires the emotional connection between us. Yes, we prefer it over Skype. The second or two delays, with glitches and twitches in visual feeds, are irritating to us when trying to keep in the erotic or aroused flow of the moment. Plus kat focuses much better when she closes her eyes and just listens to my instructions. And I live for the sounds I elicit from kat that can take me over the edge when I need it.
Just remember the important thing: any connection while you’re separated from your mate that can help keep the D/s dynamic fluid is worth the time and effort. It truly has been for us.
Of course, I’m also the kind of guy that will dial kat’s number from the very next room, ask her if this is “555-TRIPLE-XXX,” command her to pull up her gown, pull down her panties, and obey every word I say until she screams while cumming. And then I simply go into the bedroom, lick up my reward, flip her over, and go for round two. After all, since phone sex was our first form of sexual intimacy we developed a soft spot for it, and continue to use it periodically.