I posed the following question to a class I taught:
A man with $10,000, a man with $100,000, and a man with $1,000,000 were asked to invest in a new venture. The first man politely declined; the second man invested $50,000; and the third man invested $100,000. Which of these men took the greatest risk?
The majority of the class claimed the second man risked the most, because it was half (50%) of what he had. One person said the third man risked the most, because $100,000 is still more than $50,000 (even if it is only 10% of what he had).
My lesson, and what I asked them to consider, was the perspective they overlooked: that the greatest risk in life is not taking one.
There are people that dip their proverbial toe in the D/s waters. Other people dabble in D/s on occasion, while some splash about here and there. And there are other people that dive in head first, intending to remain fully immersed.
While I prefer to remain fully immersed in a 24/7 D/s relationship, it is not the level of participation that matters most. What matters, is that the individuals that believe they have a Dominant or submissive side take the risk to explore that part of their personality. Other parts of their personality will let them know at what level or speed they will choose to explore TTWD.
If you are new to the D/s world I commend you for taking the risk. And for those of you that haven’t taken the step yet, but are considering it, I commend you for researching something that has obviously been of interest to you.
I was talking with kat recently about a study on the ten most common sexual fantasies of men and women: from society in general, not D/s practitioners. I’ve seen a variety of these studies over the years, and in every case approximately half the fantasies easily fall into the realm of D/s, and another quarter could be in or out depending upon your perspective.
Those statistics suggest some interesting possibilities when you consider they come from the vanilla world. Unfortunately, for the participants, various other statistics claim that only between a quarter to a third of the individuals will ever try to explore or fulfill their fantasies in any way.
I’ve known many couples that obviously loved each other, but their intimacy stagnated over the years. Their love life became so routine that they both lost interest, and that begins to spread into other areas of the relationship. And most of it occurred because of poor communication and the fear or unwillingness to explore other intimate options.
The D/s dynamic can truly enhance a relationship built on a solid foundation of love, respect, trust, compatibility, and open and honest communication. It can take the relationship to new heights if each partner is truly committed to the other and to the dynamic. The rewards can be staggering. But like anything else in life, if you’re afraid to take the risk you’ll never reap the rewards.