D/s: The Upside Downside

[This blog is primarily geared toward loving couples in a D/s relationship.]


Fun and frolic—orgasms galore
Fantasy fulfillment—pushing for more
Beware the hidden cost
That which may infect
When the Pied Piper comes to collect

Common sense and logic tell you that the longer you and your mate remain healthy the more time you will have to enjoy your D/s relationship. Unfortunately, one of the biggest factors that make D/s—BDSM appealing can transform it from an upside to a downside—a positive to negative—instantly when individuals and couples fail to maintain a mature attitude.

Sexual Exploration and Satisfaction
I prefer a 24/7 D/s relationship, and have been lucky enough to find an extremely compatible mate. But many people drawn to D/s—BDSM begin to participate individually or as a couple strictly for the kink—the sexual satisfaction and exploration—but without the permanent emotional attachment or connection.

Exploring your sexual identity and fulfilling fantasies is a primary factor in choosing D/s—BDSM as a lifestyle or past-time. A person can discover much about themselves while enjoying a wide variety of new experiences.

Sadly, the same want or need places the individual/couple in harm’s way.

STD: Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Couples that are highly territorial and guard intimacy within their relationship have little chance of encountering or being infected by an STD.

Individuals and couples that explore fantasies that include multiple partners increase their chances of encountering and being infected by STDs. And that percentage increases exponentially with each new partner they play with; and the chance doesn’t just increase by the new play partner, but also includes anyone they’ve been with sexually. Especially those sexual partners they’ve been with in the past decade, since some STDs have up to ten-year incubation periods.

std 1

STDs in the US
Over a hundred million people have STDs in America. That number continues to grow by approximately twenty million new infections yearly. The medical cost to deal with the STD epidemic is in the billions each year. And our young people are the biggest hit. Half (50%) of all 15-24 year-olds will acquire some form of STD. And, presently, it’s estimated that 1-in-4 high school girls and 1-in-6 high school boys have an STD.

STDs and D/s-BDSM
I found no comprehensive studies encompassing the D/s-BDSM world regarding STDs. However, many factors related to D/s-BDSM suggest the participants infected would be higher than normal. For instance, the sex-trade industry, prostitution, and other areas involving an increased number of sexual partners always have increased percentages of participants with STDs.

The D/s-BDSM world is also filled with practitioners that have attitudes that perpetuate the transmission of STDs, like the following examples:

TS: “I read blogs by girls that set goals to fuck a thousand guys they meet on dating sites. I’m doing the same thing but from play dates and dungeons.”

[TS admits to having herpes, but claims she only parties when it’s not active. Considering her goal and attitude, do you trust her?]

MJ: “Been doing the ‘D’ scene (dungeons) about a year. Over a hundred hook-ups. Always with an unsheathed sword (no condom).”

SY: “I’m in a poly (polyamory) relationship with three others, and we all swing outside the relationship.”

CC: “The wildest thing I’ve done. Oh god, I can’t believe I’m saying this. Ten guys. Really! Ten cumming in me and on me at the same time.”

Consider this: there are literally tens of thousands of variations of the above attitudes floating around the D/s-BDSM world.

orgy 2

Responsible and Mature
Loving couples in D/s relationships where intimacy is guarded and no other sexual partners are included are practically guaranteed to never encounter or be infected by STDs. All other couples and individual practitioners of D/s-BDSM need to maintain mature outlooks and make protection and safety a top priority. After all, a single play date with the wrong person can change your life forever. And do you want to risk bringing an STD home, where you’re raising your children?

Last Word
I wish you all the best in your D/s relationship. Just keep it happy and healthy by being responsible and safety conscious. After all, many STDs are incurable. Don’t ruin the rest of your life, or risk losing your mate, for a fantasy or orgasm.

13 thoughts on “D/s: The Upside Downside

  1. It’s a scary thought. I am a 55 yr old women coming out of a 25 yr marriage going back into the dating scene. BDSM, Vanilla it doesn’t matter it scares the hell out of me.

    Liked by 1 person

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