Doms should never assume

There is an old saying that states: If you assume, you make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me.’

Let me give you an example that began on the 5th of July in 2013. After going to the local ER, they took x-rays and did ultrasounds on me. The ER doctor gave a diagnosis that would radically alter my life. I was placed on oxygen and a regimen of medications, and then handed off to the VA doctors to follow-up the treatments.

I was told to use the oxygen 24/7, and that I would be on it the rest of my life, along with the medications.

I never did use the oxygen 24/7, and I eventually convinced them to cancel it. They also lowered the meds but refused to cancel them.

Over the next 5 years there were additional hospital stays, multiple exams with dozens of medical professionals, including 2 VA primary care physicians. And they all prescribed modified treatments for my diagnosed conditions.

That is, until recently, when I acquired a new primary care doctor. A doctor that chooses not to assume. Instead of following up on the set regimen, he went back over my entire medical history. And after double-checking all the x-rays, etc., he felt the original ER doctor misdiagnosed me back in 2013. And he set me up with some additional tests to verify his conclusion.

The final test was done in the wee hours of the morning on March 8th, 2018. By the afternoon, my doctor let me know I could stop the meds, because he confirmed I was misdiagnosed.

For 5 years each medical professional simply assumed the first diagnosis was correct, and it clouded their minds to every test, exam, condition, and even side-effects that I’ve endured until I finally got a doctor that looked at the evidence with fresh, unclouded eyes…and never assumed anything.

What kind of a Dom would I be if I assumed, upon meeting kat, that she needed me to be exactly like my previous D/s mate?

If I would have treated kat like my late wife needed and wanted to be treated it would have turned into a colossal fuck-up, just like all those medical professionals treating me based on a misdiagnosis they simply assumed to be correct.

Everyone is a unique individual, including all subs, and they need to be dealt with on an individual basis. Communicate, observe, and learn about them. And never make the foolish mistake of assuming something. Make sure before you act on it.

13 thoughts on “Doms should never assume

  1. Unfortunately, a segment of the medical professionals get caught up in the God complex… thinking they can do no wrong. It’s a good thing that there are still some really good ones out there that will double-check everything. But this is a good comparison to make sure Doms never assume with their subs.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Glad to hear that you found a diligent doctor! Those are hard to come by, for many reasons, and our current medical model doesn’t help. You make an excellent point about not assuming that one style of dominance will work for all subs. As I peruse a variety of blogs, I have read about dominance styles and techniques that just wouldn’t work for me…you are right when you say we are all unique and have different needs. Great post, Alpha!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’m happy that you didn’t assume with me, Daddy. You wisely got to know me, learned what I needed and wanted in our relationship (while I was learning what I needed and wanted), and we took it from there.
    And I’m very, very happy your new doctor didn’t assume. ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s why they refer to it as “practicing” medicine. There is an art and a science to medicine, as well as in D/s. Focus too much on the science (x, therefor y) and you will miss an awful lot of the art (x, therefor maybe y or maybe z or maybe something i haven’t considered at all) and not be as effective.

    Liked by 1 person

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