D/s: Three-part punishment plan

There was some interest shown over a recent post when I briefly described a 3-part punishment plan. So, I decided to elaborate a little more on the topic.

First off, I do not use the 3-part plan for every offense. There are various minor infractions that do not require more than a stern warning or quick spanking. But I have found the 3-part plan beneficial for all medium to major offenses.

Why the 3-part plan?
Anyone that has followed us for any length of time knows that I have been in D/s a long time. So, I have read, heard, or seen just about every imaginable concept of punishment in or out of the D/s community.

Before settling on a plan that fit my personality and beliefs (as a Dom and a man) I drew heavily on my psychology training and investigative experience.

I had enough experience and knowledge to know the basic elements I was looking for. After all, it was basic common sense. I just needed a workable plan that I could use in any given situation with the proper results: that my sub/kat would not (or rarely) commit the same offense again.

The three primary factors I looked for was a quick response, a way for my sub/kat to learn from the experience, and something to ensure that she would not want to do it again. And that’s how I settled on the idea of combining corporeal punishment with a learning task and a deterrent task.

Corporeal punishment
Spanking is effective as long as the practice is not abused. In fact, there is a wealth of evidence to show that corporeal punishment—when properly applied—can have long-lasting positive effects.

Psychologically speaking, the best results occur if you adhere to the following: (1) the closer the spanking is to the infraction the greater the mental connection it will have on the offender (spanking on the same day as the offense is preferable, though not always possible). (2) Absolutely NEVER spank when you’re angry and not thoroughly in control of your emotions. It is the #1 reason why people turn a positive act, like corporeal punishment, into an abusive situation. (3) Calmly communicate with your sub prior to the spanking: reminding them of their infraction, their consensual agreement to punishment for negative behavior which can affect the relationship, and your love for them. (4) Administer the appropriate spanking for that particular infraction. (5) And follow it with affectionate after-care while reminding them again of your love.

Learning task
Psychologically speaking, again, there is plenty of evidence to show that humans made to confront their negative behavior—in combination with corporeal punishment—are more likely to abstain from the behavior in the future. Various research has shown between 32-65% more offenders have abstained from recommitting their offense when the two were combined.

For the best results, make sure the learning task is created specifically for the offender: taking into account their personality and primary way of learning.

Deterrent task
Although corporeal punishment and learning tasks can be useful deterrents to bad behavior, it is a good idea to include a specific deterrent task designed for the offender.

The task should be appropriate to the offense and be so disliked by the offender that they will not want to do it again.

Deterrent tasks—combined with corporeal punishment and learning tasks—are even more effective then when used separately. Research suggests between 48-83% more effective.

Last word
The combination of all three—spanking, learning task, and deterrent task—fulfill the three primary factors I looked for. The spanking can be administered quickly to fulfill the quick response factor. The learning task allows the sub to learn from the experience. And the deterrent task is specifically designed so the sub would never want to endure it again.
Just remember that everyone is different, and each plan needs to be tailor-made for the Dom and sub it will be used for and by.

16 thoughts on “D/s: Three-part punishment plan

  1. The disappointment in the behavior by the Dom is the biggest emotional hurdle and reading Kat’s response one could easily see she was emotionally broken up about the situation. Although the infraction was deemed serious, knowing your sub and being thoughtful about the consequences brought you closer together and strengthened her desire to submit. Well done Alpha.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I understand you mean sub’s behavior. And you’re right, it has brought us closer. Thank you for the thoughtful response.


  2. Typing too fast….first sentence did not imply the Dom’s behavior, but his disappointment in his subs behavior. Sorry to be unclear.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The last incident was so contrary to kat’s personality that it truly embarrassed and shamed her to admit she ever thought of it, much less acted on the thoughts. So, as a learning task I made her write out what she thought led up to the thoughts, why she thought she acted on them, what she did in detail, and a formal apology to me. It helps her to come to grips with the situation from start to finish. And the more neuro-transmitters in the brain that you connect with something the more you remember it.

      And one part of the 2-part deterrent task I chose on this particular situation was that she had to allow something she put in a visible place to remain there as a reminder to her of her infraction. And since she hates what she did, she doesn’t like being reminded about it.

      The other part of the task is too personal, so I won’t mention it.

      The objective is to help her learn from the mistake, and instill a mind-set that she never wants to do it again. So, the punishments have to be tailor-made to each sub for them to be effective.

      Thank you for the response, Dbl-N.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you so much for this response, Alpha! We are pretty new to D/s (about a year in), and I think this type of approach is something that would suit my husband’s approach to correcting my mistakes/misbehavior. We both really appreciate that you and kat blog…we learn a lot from you! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you, Daddy, for allowing me to atone for my horrible mistake. Your approach to my transgression was a very effective punishment, and I’m positive I’ll never repeat it. As hismignon1984 said, disappointing you was the biggest punishment of all.
    I love you, Daddy. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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