The Mind-fuck

Mind fuck definition—

1. An experience that causes intense and usually disturbing emotion, such as shock, confusion, or fear.

2. An imaginary act of sexual intercourse.

The above are two simple definitions I found when googling mind-fuck, but neither are quite right in how I’m using it here—though #2 is closest. And there’s a form more extreme used in hardcore BDSM, but I’m not going to touch on that in this post; I’m using the term here when referencing how Alpha can arouse me with only words. He fucks my mind.

Ah, the mind-fuck—every good Dom/Domme knows how to do it.

I can’t speak about the giving of one—maybe Alpha will do that in a future post—how it’s done, and how it feels to penetrate your sub’s head and causes her/him to want to please you, to want you to take their body and do with it as you will. My thoughts don’t go in that direction; they sink into that shadowy, simmering world of Daddy taking control.

I love a mind-fuck. And Alpha is an expert.

For much of our relationship, especially at the beginning, Alpha and I were apart for extended periods of time. We loved each other and didn’t want to bring others into our relationship for sexual release, so we did what we had to, to keep intimacy alive over the miles: we used phones and computers in place of physical touch. Yep, we had phone sex.

Alpha gave me specific instructions as to what to do in the hours leading up to our phone conversation, to get me in a submissive, horny mood. And when the agreed upon time arrived, I got comfortable—having toys nearby, and anything else he’d commanded me to assemble earlier in the day. Then I called. After a settling in period, he asked me what I had on, and I knew it was time to begin.

I closed my eyes, and his sexy voice guided me. He described in detail where and how I was to touch, and told me to imagine it was him doing it. My mind could see it all, and so could his (we both have vivid imaginations). He started slow, then gradually built the intensity. And his voice reflected that intensity, becoming more commanding and urgent. Soon, he has me begging to be allowed to cum, but just as he does when we’re together, he refuses me release for a time. Then when finally, he does…all I can say is: Oh. My. God!

I guess you could say that Alpha mind-fucks me in some fashion about every day, whether in person or hundreds of miles away. He reminds me that he owns my body, that he has full control of it, and what he wants to do/is going to do to it. And his voice—masculine, smooth, but with a bit of a growl—can make me weak and wet and wanting long before he even touches me—or allows me to touch myself.

Men, vanilla or otherwise, who take the time to understand women, know that most need to be emotionally touched to crave physical touch, most especially in a long-term relationship. And being touched emotionally doesn’t always have to do with love (though it makes the experience even more intense). Building the desire for sex can be done in many ways: a look, a touch, using certain words and phrases. And in D/s / BDSM, the added element of control is a powerful aphrodisiac. A Dom/Domme who knows how to utilize control using only their voice and words will have his/her sub aching for their touch. They know the art of a mind-fuck.

I’ve read that D/s is a dance between the Dominant and submissive. And a Dom who learns the steps of the mind-fuck, and leads his/her partner in the dance as old as mankind, will have a happy sub.

And lots of fantastic sex.

11 thoughts on “The Mind-fuck

  1. Hi Kat,
    I enjoyed this post and agree that a woman’s mind is where it begins and your comment “Men, vanilla or otherwise, who take the time to understand women, know that most need to be emotionally touched to crave physical touch” resonates. I think something else you talk about is even more important an investment in time and a focus on the partner. Unfortunately, I think a lot of long term relationships move to auto pilot after awhile. I have enjoyed reading about the connection you have with Alpha and the effort you both put into making your relationship a priority. It is inspirational and demonstrates real understanding. Thank you for writing honestly.
    Mignon

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for your heart-felt response, Mignon.
      A lot of what I know about keeping the flame burning, I learned from Alpha. When we got together, he understood a woman’s mind better than I did, and more importantly than that, grew to understand mine—because he put in the effort. And I try my best to return his devotion to keeping our connection a priority. Sure, sometimes life gets in the way, and sometimes we get in a rut; but Alpha always steers us back on path. I’m a lucky woman to have him.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. With a foundation of unconditional love, with mutual respect and admiration, you are truly worthy of all my time and effort. And I deem it a privilege to win you over-and-over, each and every day, in order to fulfill your wants and needs while keeping you protected and safe. And as a natural Alpha, nothing thrills me more than to call you…mine!
    Good post, baby.

    Liked by 3 people

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