Some Thoughts on D/s…

For a D/s relationship to survive long term, couples need a solid foundation of vanilla (yes, I did write vanilla) love; it will carry them through the hard times all couples experience. For D/s isn’t constant and unchanging, it ebbs and flows in the way of all relationships. Stronger one day, weaker the next.

So many factors play into how intense the D/s dynamic is day to day: physical health, depression, work, family, separation, to name just a few, can take their toll. In other words, life gets in the way. And if we demand our Dom/Domme or sub to always, no matter what, fulfill their agreed-upon roll, it can harm the basic underpinnings of the relationship. Wants and needs of both can fluctuate, and the dynamic has to be adjusted accordingly.

Sometimes, amping up the D/s gets you through; but at other times, taking off the pressure by stepping back is the way to go. Each situation is different, and must be handled using your best judgement. There can even be times when extreme circumstances cause the relationship to have a distinct vanilla flavor, but that’s okay. It will not last. Not if the relationship was first built on unconditional love. (And not just lip service claiming unconditional love.)

Unconditional love accepts who you are, including the person you were before D/s. It says, “I love you, and will accept and stick by you irregardless of D/s.” It says, “If all we have from this point forward is vanilla, I am still here, will always be here.” That tells your partner you are safe with them, that you never have to pretend to be something you are not; love and commitment should not be contingent on playing a certain role.

When each person is given the freedom to just be who they are (or need to be) at any given time, without fear of consequences, they feel validated, and it enables them to meet in the middle and get the relationship, whether D/s or vanilla, back on track. Sometimes the track veers off in a slightly different direction afterward, but that’s okay. Nothing that grows stays static…it’s always in a constant state of change.

Most couples implement the D/s dynamic because one—only one—desires it. And though the one who is led to it may not need it, they recognize the other’s need, and out of love, agree. And here’s the slippery slope: if the one wanting D/s cannot compromise, if to them it’s all or nothing (the me-me-me mentality), their love is not unconditional, and the relationship will eventually fall apart. Unconditional love sees what the other needs. Unconditional love is not selfish. And unconditional love compromises.

Compromises—so much of our relationships are built upon them. Give me this, I’ll give you that. I’ll take this, you take that. And we can’t resent our partner if they aren’t playing the game exactly like we want them to. After all, are we playing exactly like they would like us to? Think about it…look at it from their side. And then meet in the middle.

Hard to Kill

[The following poem is nothing like the usual fare we post here. But long-time readers of our blog know much of my life has revolved around psychology and investigations, so this topic shouldn’t be too surprising.]

 

I never thought it would take so long
It turns out she’s rather hard to kill
But I don’t care how hard to kill she is
Nothing outlasts my mule-headed will

I tried killing her Monday
On Tuesday, I actually tried twice
I picked up a gun for Wednesday’s fun
In fact, I got two at half-price

I thought it would be done by noon
Then I figured it would be over by dusk
Two more failures, how does she do it?
Does she get a whiff of my musk?

I tried to push her off a cliff
Onto the wave-battered rocks below
Everything’s fine, then thoughts out of line
Was the push ill-timed? I’ll never know.

When she slept I tried to cut her
With a knife across the throat
But she opened her eyes at the just the right time
One more failure that I must note

But I’ll keep trying, I’ll never quit
Not till the day I do her in
In fact, I know what I’m going to try next
A Reaper’s Micky in her tonic and gin

There’s only room for one reality
So, she will always be my rival
It’s not a question of morality
Cuz’ she’s my split-personality
It’s strictly a case of survival

Whim and a Hunch: by Alpha & kat

[While considering the possibility of a D/s Dr. Seuss, kat and I had some laughs putting this collaboration together.]

 

On a whim and a hunch… I’d like to munch you for brunch
I would munch you a bunch… Then you’d munch me for lunch

Would you think it quite crude…if we both ate in the nude?
Tis’ neither rude nor crude…to eat our food in the nude

I hope you’re not a prude…and I hope you do not brood
And take it on a hunch…to munch a bunch in the nude

I love to lick and kiss…during moments such as this
A kiss that feels like bliss…a bliss you’d regret to miss

With your body so fine…now au natural to dine
Taste your nectar divine…a smooth and sweet pussy wine

Don’t you wish that we could…each forever dine so fine?
So fine that we can dine…me with yours and you with mine

My tongue upon your chest…love to munch your tasty breast
A truly flavored quest…to nibble tits on the crest

When I suck your nipple…pleasure begins to ripple
And nipple to nipple…makes both our pleasures triple

We both can take a peek…at the entrée’ tongue-in-cheek
It truly is the peak…a climax that makes you weak

But now it’s time to glut…and savor each other’s butt
Me a stag that’s in rut…and you Daddy’s horny slut

It is a tasty treat…enjoying each other’s seat
But with this tasty treat…we both know it’s not complete
Till there’s penetration…with a sense of elation
Fucking penetration…that’s cause for celebration

 

dr seuss 2

 

Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: (13th edition)

[Alpha’s modern version of bawdy rhymes and erotica similar to vaudeville and burlesque.] 

 

Sir’s new her
He said he wished to feel her
She said, I’ll probably scream, sir
It was truly nice to feel her
It was quite nice, I thank you, sir

I desired again to touch her
Well, pray tell, how much, sir?
A hell of a lot he said to her
Only if you’re Johnny-on-the-spot, sir

My get-up-and-go is up for her
You’re going much too far, sir
No such place he said to her
You’re teetering on disgrace, sir

Gambling, I’m now all-in her
My mind does swoon and spin, sir
From the start I chose to arouse her
But you carouse without the heart, sir

I think I feel love for her
You’re feeling friction when you move, sir
And I feel a willingness in her
Only for that which you’ll be spilling, sir

I knew that I could have her
I fear it’s your wife that’s been had, sir
Another taste of forbidden fruit with her
Ow! That’s my never-ridden hole, sir!

The cream of the crop for her
From pain to pleasure, don’t stop, sir
Tis’ too divine, I shall not fare in her
Better tow-the-line since you dared, sir

No more amiss, I last, then cum in her
Tis’ utter bliss, a blast, and fun, sir
Now on with life I bid adieu to her
First, a message from your wife…
She’s divorcing you, sir

Peg Leg Paulette
Peg Leg Paulette is not what you think, so don’t bet
She never lost a limb, but one day she had a whim
To pick up a whip and flog a man with a sassy lip
She also used a belt, and a cane to leave a welt
It opened her eyes to a world where fantasy lies
And the cries of pain are a pleasure strain
A Domme she became in the treasured game
Where her sly little wink tells of joy within her kink
When she straps on her leg, the one she named Peg
And revels in the treat, while pegging her sub’s seat
Long and hard till satisfaction is complete

Crafty Cat
There was a crafty cat
That always knew where it was at
And where was what
Of the latest scuttlebutt
On how to get the most tit for tat

Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: Pt.12

[Alpha’s modern version of bawdy word play and erotica similar to the burlesque and vaudeville periods.]

Majestic
The richest royal apparel
Is but filthy rags and shoddy
When compared to that which it covers
The majestic human body

Give and Take
Hush, hush
Don’t be in such a rush
Push, push
Right in that sexy tush
Squeeze, squeeze
You’re being a little tease
Degrees, degrees
There’s levels when you please
Moan, moan
There’s pleasure in this groan
Spank, spank
A measure to which you’ll atone
Alone, alone
Nevermore as Dom and sub
Suck, suck
You on the knob, me on the nub
Give and take
Our D/s dynamic, let’s quiver and quake
Take and give
Forevermore, it’s how we wish to live

Peg Leg Pete
Peg Leg Pete couldn’t stand on his feet
Cuz’ one foot was all that he had
His right foot was lost, a rather steep cost
To find his talent as a whaler was all bad
His ankle went later, chomped off by a ‘gator
The incident made him rather irate
While he did heal, another piece became a meal
Shin and calf went to a shark as shark bait
He’s now a land-lubber, with a penchant for rubber
A major stockholder in a trendy dick-slicker
Condom Man his moniker, protecting the doniker
Though he always goes unsheathed as a pussy-licker