Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: (13th edition)

[Alpha’s modern version of bawdy rhymes and erotica similar to vaudeville and burlesque.] 

 

Sir’s new her
He said he wished to feel her
She said, I’ll probably scream, sir
It was truly nice to feel her
It was quite nice, I thank you, sir

I desired again to touch her
Well, pray tell, how much, sir?
A hell of a lot he said to her
Only if you’re Johnny-on-the-spot, sir

My get-up-and-go is up for her
You’re going much too far, sir
No such place he said to her
You’re teetering on disgrace, sir

Gambling, I’m now all-in her
My mind does swoon and spin, sir
From the start I chose to arouse her
But you carouse without the heart, sir

I think I feel love for her
You’re feeling friction when you move, sir
And I feel a willingness in her
Only for that which you’ll be spilling, sir

I knew that I could have her
I fear it’s your wife that’s been had, sir
Another taste of forbidden fruit with her
Ow! That’s my never-ridden hole, sir!

The cream of the crop for her
From pain to pleasure, don’t stop, sir
Tis’ too divine, I shall not fare in her
Better tow-the-line since you dared, sir

No more amiss, I last, then cum in her
Tis’ utter bliss, a blast, and fun, sir
Now on with life I bid adieu to her
First, a message from your wife…
She’s divorcing you, sir

Peg Leg Paulette
Peg Leg Paulette is not what you think, so don’t bet
She never lost a limb, but one day she had a whim
To pick up a whip and flog a man with a sassy lip
She also used a belt, and a cane to leave a welt
It opened her eyes to a world where fantasy lies
And the cries of pain are a pleasure strain
A Domme she became in the treasured game
Where her sly little wink tells of joy within her kink
When she straps on her leg, the one she named Peg
And revels in the treat, while pegging her sub’s seat
Long and hard till satisfaction is complete

Crafty Cat
There was a crafty cat
That always knew where it was at
And where was what
Of the latest scuttlebutt
On how to get the most tit for tat

6 thoughts on “Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: (13th edition)

  1. Sounds like Sir is going to get his comeuppance…maybe Peg Leg Paulette needs to pay him a visit. 😁
    Thanks for the laughs, Daddy. You tickled my funny bone. ♥️

    Liked by 1 person

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