Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: 9th Edition

[Alpha’s modern version of Bawdy Word Play & Erotica similar to the Vaudeville & Burlesque periods.]

Never
Never betray a brother
Or French-kiss your mother
Or build an outhouse atop another

Never get taken to the woodshed
And never lose your head
And never get caught in you sister-in-law’s bed

Never sneeze in someone’s face
Never cause your family disgrace
And never tell your wife she can be replaced

Never steal, cheat, or lie
Never make your lover cry
Or wake-up from a bender in a pigsty

Never scratch an itch
If the itch is on a bitch
With a split-personality homicidal switch

Never jump to conclusions
Or get caught-up in illusions
Unless you like protrusions and contusions

Never go along with an illegal fix
Never hurt others to get your kicks
And never believe anyone in politics

First kiss
She said her first kiss on the lips
Was about as perfect as it could be
There was a feeling of bliss that aroused her nips
With a sensual wave of ecstasy
The only surprise in the blessed event
That left her emotionally spent
Was that her first kiss—
Was so far south of her mouth

Cuffed and Stuffed
All it takes is a solitary look
On a day with her emotions quite shook
Just use her
And abuse her
While she’s cuffed, and stuffed with an anal hook

Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: 8th edition

[Alpha’s modern version of Bawdy Humor and Erotica similar to the Vaudeville & Burlesque periods.]

No Clowning Around
I was handed a flyer
From a modern town crier
Announcing an upcoming event
I was in town for a short stay
So, I might as well play
Especially if I can get sexually spent
I mistook “a rousing good time”
For “an arousing good time,”
And in this case the two didn’t mix
I arrived with a sexy move
But quickly lost my groove
When I saw clowns with bags of tricks
Clown feet and clown face
Are a dimension out of place
I see nothing sexy in slapstick
Contrary to the rumor
I do have a sense of humor
But no balloon animals on my dick
Keep your flower that shoots jelly
And your jack-in-the-box willie
Just give me tits, cunt, and ass
The clown car is not a sex-mobile
And a clown chick is no deal
Who wants a honking horn BJ? How crass!
Send the clowns back to clown school
Just leave me a nympho or two
And enough time for a multiple orgasm
Cease the clown parade
And the belly-laughs sex charade
You can’t climax with a stitch-in-the-side spasm
A dozen clowns in a phone booth: “Hello”
Now they frolic in a pool of Jello
Orgy-like it may seem, but it ain’t
They make body parts wiggle and jiggle
No orgasmic scream, just a giggle
I need to go back to the rez’ and the war-paint

Gag free
The biggest cunnilingus killjoy
Are still curlicues where tongues deploy
So, shave the hair
Keep your pussy bare
For a gag free delight: Oh boy!

Anal shag
The rhythm of the rut
While penetrating the butt
In an anal shag
By the Dominant stag
Builds the arousal to pop his nut

 

Have a good day!

D/s: Pegging (one Dom’s perspective)

Pegging has various uses and definitions in the D/s community. The primary definitions are as follows:

Peg punishment (also called “sitting on a peg”): the use of a butt plug, dildo, etc., as a punishment—sometimes with humiliation and/or masturbation or edging added.

Pegging preparation: the use of a butt plug, dildo, etc., to arouse and prepare for anal play (butt-fucking, fisting, etc.).

Strap-on pegging: the act of using a strap-on dildo/vibrator for penetration (predominantly referring to female-to-male anal penetration).

Sitting on a peg
Many Doms—especially those in DD/lg and M/s relationships—use some form of pegging punishment. It is often seen in the form of a stool or bench, or a combination thereof that the sub is made to sit on for a specified time period.

Humiliation is often added to lesser or greater degrees; like when a sub is stuck in the corner facing the wall (lesser degree) or placed in the center of the room to be gawked at (greater degree) by Dom and/or others if at a public forum, like a dungeon. The latter is seen more with M/s pairings. And the addition of masturbation or edging creates another level of humiliation for punishment.

Pegging preparation
Doms in most types of D/s relationships have used, or continue to use butt-plugs, dildoes, and other adult toys as preparation with subs for anal play (butt-fucking, fisting, etc.). The type and time of preparation for each sub can vary greatly. Some use it only as part of the foreplay just prior to the anal play, while others may be plugged all day.

Every D/s relationship is different, and every sub has a different tolerance level for the methods used to prepare them. Do what works best for you and your sub.

Strap-on pegging
Most people in the D/s community equate this type of pegging with Fem-Doms/Dommes, since it is a standard practice of many F/m relationships—although it’s not in all F/m pairings, since there are many male subs that consider anal penetration a hard limit.

There are, however, more Doms using this form of pegging in their relationships. The numbers continue to grow as more Doms are educated to the benefits of cock-milking, the male G-spot, or p-gasm.

Do Dom and sub switch?
If a Dom wants to personally enjoy the pleasures of anal play: cock-milking, male G-spot, etc., does he and his sub have to switch (temporarily change their dynamic)? Absolutely not!

I’ve discussed this principle in other posts. Just because the Dom opts to be in a bottom position physically does not change the mental and emotional dynamic.

However, due to the nature of this particular act more care may be needed within the Dom and sub exchange to ensure the sub does not start to top from the bottom. It is always beneficial for the Dom to reaffirm dominance before and after this type of personal pegging. It is also a good idea for the Dom to keep some form of physical control of his sub during the pegging. For instance, have a leash or chain attached to the sub’s collar and gripped by the Dom. The Dom may even choose to blindfold the sub so that everything is done by the sub feeling their way while following the Dom’s commands and directions.

One Dom I know of makes their sub don a mask with a penis gag before allowing her to peg him. Another Dom fills his sub’s pussy and ass with remote controlled vibrators before she’s allowed to peg him. But you really don’t need all that if the Dom and sub simply have good communication skills, a strong love and respect for each other, and a commitment to their D/s dynamic.

Last word
With a little creativity and imagination pegging can be a welcomed addition in any D/s relationship. Work it out between you and keep safety in mind.
For any straight males that think thoughts or desires to have anal play or penetration shows homosexual tendencies, that’s absurd. You need to read my article “D/s and the Male G-spot”, along with other articles on the prostate, cock-milking, and the p-gasm (including medical articles).

 

 

Have a good day.

Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: 7th edition

[Alpha’s modern Bawdy Word Play, Erotica, & Tongue Twisters: similar to the Vaudeville & Burlesque periods.]

 

Wedding Night (mare)
Had a fright on wedding night, a dream did overshadow
Nightmare spawned the fear, a vision did foreshadow
My wife was unclad
Acting nasty and bad
Though not with me, another cast in shadow

Bullies
Two bullies heard I’d been raised with a wet nurse
That I’d been raised polite, and didn’t even curse
They assumed I was gay
And with me they’d have their way
So, I now use their scrotums for a man-purse

Matadors
A bull’s schlong is so long
They sell them as walking canes
That’s why matadors fight them
Obsessive penis envy of their brains

Last Ride
Do you think you could drive a hearse
And recite a spontaneous verse
When the dead arise
Right before your eyes
Without shitting yourself or shouting a curse?

 

Have a nice day!

Is D/s my real life?

I noticed that several blogs have been pondering the question “Is D/s my real life?” Five simple words, but the more I thought about it the more it intrigued me. And yet, the more convoluted it also became, for I realized it could go in various directions depending upon what perspective I chose.

For instance, I was brought into the D/s world as a teenager. And those who read the posts where I explained how that occurred might recall that it was a long-term negative experience. So, one might pose the question, how could it be my real life if I was manipulated into it by an authority figure over twice my age?

On the other hand, I am a natural Alpha male. So, even in my off-and-on periods of vanilla life I was the rugged individualist that was always in traditional male-led relationships.

Hell, even as a teenager, the Alpha in me couldn’t be completely suppressed. I eventually turned my manipulator’s tricks against her: controlling her for the last half of the relationship, before severing ties with her to go into the military.

My first marriage was not D/s oriented, but my second was. And during the long period between the two, when playing the field, there were far more so-called vanilla relationships than D/s. And yet, D/s clearly held the stronger sexual attraction if you go by labeled definitions.

Does that stronger sexual attraction prove D/s is my “real” life? Not really. As a natural Alpha I enjoyed the same sexual pleasures—with few exceptions—in my vanilla relationships that I presently enjoy in my D/s relationship.

Vanilla girls that were attracted to me as a “bad boy” when I was younger, or to my rugged individualism when I was older, allowed me to push their sexual boundaries with little resistance.

If that’s true, why do I choose to live in a 24/7 D/s relationship? And doesn’t being in a 24/7 D/s relationship prove D/s is my “real” life? — Not necessarily.

What I realized when trying to answer this question is that saying yes or no is purely built on social constructs. If I’m the same natural Alpha in my vanilla existence that I am in my D/s existence, then how can one be more “real” than the other?

It can’t be.

The truth is that I am the same person in both vanilla and D/s worlds. The difference is not me, because I’m the same person whether I’m actively in one or the other.

The difference is how I am perceived by those caught-up in the social constructs of the vanilla and D/s worlds. In other words, society’s long-standing need to label everything and everyone for quick and easy reference.

Then why choose one or the other if both lifestyles are social constructs? Because humans predominantly make that choice based on either familiarity (how they were raised), or where they feel more accepted and allowed to be themselves.

I choose a 24/7 D/s lifestyle because that label is the closest fit to me within the social constructs of vanilla or D/s. For instance, several of the vanilla females that allowed me to spank and fuck their asses had nothing but derogatory things to say about women in D/s relationships, or D/s in general. Which doesn’t make a lot of sense (because I do the same activity in both worlds), but they are hung-up on the labels.

The D/s community is not much different. It’s a social construct just like the vanilla world, but my so-called kinky proclivities in the vanilla world allow me to be more accepted in the D/s world. But I’m the same person either way, in either world.

So, is D/s my “real” life? Absolutely not. And neither is vanilla or any other socially constructed label. But D/s is the closest label I have to use within society to explain certain parts of who I am and how I choose to live with kat.

Kat and I chose our relationship together based on the unconditional love we have for each other. And we chose to utilize D/s to enhance the relationship. But it is still just a label attached to behavior or activities that I would do with or without the label. In fact, it was a part of me long before I was “in” the D/s community. The label just makes it easier to explain because it’s based on a social construct they can relate to…not really because it’s who I am or not.