Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: 8th edition

[Alpha’s modern version of Bawdy Humor and Erotica similar to the Vaudeville & Burlesque periods.]

No Clowning Around
I was handed a flyer
From a modern town crier
Announcing an upcoming event
I was in town for a short stay
So, I might as well play
Especially if I can get sexually spent
I mistook “a rousing good time”
For “an arousing good time,”
And in this case the two didn’t mix
I arrived with a sexy move
But quickly lost my groove
When I saw clowns with bags of tricks
Clown feet and clown face
Are a dimension out of place
I see nothing sexy in slapstick
Contrary to the rumor
I do have a sense of humor
But no balloon animals on my dick
Keep your flower that shoots jelly
And your jack-in-the-box willie
Just give me tits, cunt, and ass
The clown car is not a sex-mobile
And a clown chick is no deal
Who wants a honking horn BJ? How crass!
Send the clowns back to clown school
Just leave me a nympho or two
And enough time for a multiple orgasm
Cease the clown parade
And the belly-laughs sex charade
You can’t climax with a stitch-in-the-side spasm
A dozen clowns in a phone booth: “Hello”
Now they frolic in a pool of Jello
Orgy-like it may seem, but it ain’t
They make body parts wiggle and jiggle
No orgasmic scream, just a giggle
I need to go back to the rez’ and the war-paint

Gag free
The biggest cunnilingus killjoy
Are still curlicues where tongues deploy
So, shave the hair
Keep your pussy bare
For a gag free delight: Oh boy!

Anal shag
The rhythm of the rut
While penetrating the butt
In an anal shag
By the Dominant stag
Builds the arousal to pop his nut

 

Have a good day!

Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: 7th edition

[Alpha’s modern Bawdy Word Play, Erotica, & Tongue Twisters: similar to the Vaudeville & Burlesque periods.]

 

Wedding Night (mare)
Had a fright on wedding night, a dream did overshadow
Nightmare spawned the fear, a vision did foreshadow
My wife was unclad
Acting nasty and bad
Though not with me, another cast in shadow

Bullies
Two bullies heard I’d been raised with a wet nurse
That I’d been raised polite, and didn’t even curse
They assumed I was gay
And with me they’d have their way
So, I now use their scrotums for a man-purse

Matadors
A bull’s schlong is so long
They sell them as walking canes
That’s why matadors fight them
Obsessive penis envy of their brains

Last Ride
Do you think you could drive a hearse
And recite a spontaneous verse
When the dead arise
Right before your eyes
Without shitting yourself or shouting a curse?

 

Have a nice day!

Taken in Hand

Ordered to lie
Facedown on bed
Blindfold on eyes
Hands tied, legs spread

Hard smack of hand
On panty-clad ass
Wanton hips rise
Lips gasp

Rough hand jerks panties
Down to quivering knees
Leather softly caresses
Please, Daddy, please…

Slap…squeal of pain
Slap…moan of pleasure
He knows what she craves
He’s taken her measure

Rosy blush that blooms
Dusky bruises that form
Will color her world
And keep her heart warm

His marks on her body
Will be a reminder every day
To mind her Daddy Dom
Or she will pay

But please tell me this—
Is a sound spanking really pay
Since she’s been a good girl
Or instead fundamental play

For kat needs Daddy
To take her in hand
To tame her wild side
And prove he’s a man

Lovers Touch

It’s not always from orifice with kat I cum
Delight is equally found between nimble fingers and thumb
With pleasing softness do they journey make
Up, down, and around the manly snake
Eliciting an occasional spasmodic quiver and quake
Sparks connection with my heart, emotion does move
For all with kat enhances thru our love
Now mind and body, pleasure partners crowd
Music plays and Eros laughs aloud
When reality and fantasy thru arousal now does cloud
kat plies me still with manual stimulation
With wicked grin while mastering mutual masturbation
I feel the rise of urgent primal need
As her unbounded skill charms forth my manly seed
While thru my veins the lusty liquid flies
I think of poets long ago, who claimed “tis’ how one dies”
A gushing forth of pure delight…
From lovers touch and lovers sight

Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: 6th Installment

This is a modern version of Bawdy Word Play, Erotica, or Tongue Twisters similar to the Vaudeville & Burlesque periods.

 

Joy lost, Joy gained
A boy with a toy had hours of joy
From dawn till dusk he did play
But the boy with the toy lost his joy
When a bully took his toy away
Then a girl with a pearl that liked to twirl
Met the boy in the woods one day
Saw a tear in his eye; said, “Please, don’t cry
We can share what no bully can take away.”
“I have a lock and you have a key,
It’ll bring us pleasure and great joy.”
“What trick are you trying to play?
I see no lock or key,” said the boy.
“Not in our hands, but between our thighs
Is the lock and key that will bring us highs”
Then she gave him a look,
And allowed him to touch
Then she treated him to a taste
Which he loved very much
And his years of being chaste
Appeared to be coming to an end
As she guided his cock into her cunt
And softly whispered, “I like you more than a friend.”

Belle’s Bell
Belle’s bell is rung with dick and tongue
When on the clit it plays
But when alone there’s still a tone
For Belle has found other ways
Without dick or tongue her bell is still rung
When each musical finger strays

New Girl
My new girl is not from this planet
Her twat muscles are as strong as granite
The tight restriction
Causes fiery friction
That gets smoking hot to trot when you fan it

Massage
The closest thing to a magic love potion
Is a full-body erotic massage with lotion
You knead it like dough
Arousal ebbs and flows
And climax comes in waves like the ocean