Alpha’s Quotes: 8th installment

This is the 8th installment of Alpha’s humorous, witty, or common-sense quotes.


“All successful D/s relationships come about thru an abundance of communication, trial, and error.”

“Straight Doms should never bend over in front of a switch sub.”

“If you don’t take the time to find a compatible mate you’ll discover any time with a non-compatible mate is a waste of time.”

“Pride may come before a fall, but monster egos cause more relationship fuck-ups.”

“If you can’t satisfy your sub, don’t get mad at them.”

“A Dom is a protector, that’s what you represent; so, don’t ever abuse your sub beyond agreed consent.”

“If you’re too wasted to know which orifice you’re about to lick, suck, or fuck, postpone it till later, cuz’ you’re not fit to satisfy it anyway.”

“Don’t ever give your sub a reason to resent giving consent.”

“A smart ass gets a little wiser with each punishment.”

“Threesomes wouldn’t be so taxing if you didn’t have to bring in a third person to do it.”


Have a good day!

Gender Identity Disorder: child abuse in a modern medical trend

When we read headlines or hear news stories about cultures in the world that allow the girls to have their genitalia butchered, or boys’ scrotums are forcefully squeezed daily, or girl babies are aborted or sold, or girls and boys are kidnapped for labor or sex trades, we’re disgusted at the news and think how awful it would be to live in societies that allow such things. And yet, the so-called civilized world, including the United States and other western civilizations, equally engage in barbaric practices on children. All under the guise of medical progress.

I’m referring to the highly controversial issue of chemical and surgical sex-change treatment for children. With all of the horrific mistakes the medical field has seen throughout history, haven’t they learned yet that just because something can be done does not mean it should be done?

The human brain does not fully mature until around 25-years-old. And yet, parents, under the encouragement of agenda-pushing medical and psychiatric professionals, make life-changing decisions for their children (as early as 2-years-old), on the basis that their child claims they are, or want to be, the opposite sex.

Most individuals, at some point during their childhood, wonder what it would be like to be the opposite sex. A large percentage of these people even fixate on the possibility of being the opposite sex; especially if they are going through a tough period. Or, if they perceive the traditional roles and treatment of one sex being better than the other.

For instance, a female I know vividly recalls how she and her sisters had to do far more chores than their brothers. And she clearly remembers wishing she was a boy. In fact, she had those thoughts from a young age until puberty. But once her body began to change those thoughts disappeared, and she’s been happy to be a female ever since.

It is impossible for a child to fully comprehend the consequences and life-changing ramifications of changing their sex. And when the average adult mistakenly believes sex and gender are the same thing, instead of having entirely different definitions, how do parents and medical professionals honestly believe children can make such life-changing decisions?

Two experts in the field at Johns Hopkins University, Lawrence S. Mayer and Paul McHugh, wrote a 143-page report that expressed their “alarm at the developing trend in the United States of parents declaring their children to be transgendered and subjecting the child to hormonal treatments, behavioral adjustments and surgery.”

They equally suggest no one can determine the gender identity of such young children (like the 2-4-year-olds being mentioned in articles now). And along with believing scientists have no real understanding of what it means “for a child to have a developed sense of his or her gender,” they are extremely alarmed that the “therapies, treatments, and surgeries seem disproportionate to the severity of the distress being experienced” by the children, and are “premature since the majority who identify as the gender opposite their biological sex will not continue to do so as adults.” Plus, they stress that there is a lack of reliable studies on the prolonged effects of these interventions.

While Mayer and McHugh strongly caution against such therapies, treatments, and surgeries, other medical professionals push the trend.

Dr. Norman Spack, director of one of the nation’s first gender identity clinics, at Children’s Hospital Boston, says, “Switching gender roles and occasionally pretending to be the opposite sex is common in young children. But these kids are different. They feel certain they were born with the wrong bodies.”

The trend shows a growing number of these children are being labeled with gender identity disorder, a psychiatric diagnosis.

Dr. Margaret Moon, who teaches at the Johns Hopkins Berman Institute of Bioethics, and is a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics bioethics committee, says, “Offering sex-change treatment to kids younger than 18 raises ethical concerns, and their parents’ motives need to be closely examined.”

Moon further claims, “Some kids may get a psychiatric diagnosis when they are just hugely uncomfortable with narrowly defined gender roles; or some may be gay and are coerced into treatment by parents more comfortable with a sex-change than having a homosexual child.”

Regarding parental motives: while I believe most of these parents’ want to do what’s right for their children they, unfortunately, buy into the PC, societal, and medical trends.

However, there are instances where parents have played on the publicity surrounding the issue: subjecting their children to life-changing therapies and treatments for personal gain.

There is at least one instance where siblings playing a practical joke convinced a young sister to keep claiming she was a boy or she would be kicked out of the family. And the parents bought it and put her into therapy (which was discontinued after the siblings confessed).

Isn’t it interesting that while Moon suggests the parents’ motives be closely examined, no one suggests the medical professionals’ motives be examined. After all, the entire history of medicine is littered with both unethical and immoral practices. Everything from graverobbing to drug dealing, double-billing to unnecessary surgeries, and malpractice to murder have made headlines in the medical field.

Some people may point out that the medical professionals are treating gender identity disorder quite differently than similar disorders.

An individual with body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) mistakenly believes they are ugly. A female with anorexia nervosa (AN) mistakenly believes she is obese. An individual with body integrity identity disorder (BIID) mistakenly believes they are a disabled person trapped in a fully functioning body: some even seek surgical amputation of healthy limbs, or attempt to get their spines severed.

You do not see the medical and psychiatric professionals lining up for the “Trend Train” to fulfill the mistaken beliefs of those with BDD, AN, or BIID. So, why are so many hopping on board the “Transgender Trend Train?”

Can the prospect of creating an entire class of life-long patients be tempting? After all, we already see them going after children as young as 2-years-old. And once they have been indoctrinated through the alleged counseling to “accept” themselves as the opposite sex, they will be on puberty blocking drugs for several years, followed by sex-changing hormonal treatment for the rest of their lives (with or without the sex-change surgery). And greed has proven to be a powerful motivator throughout the history of medicine.

There are other medical and psychiatric professionals who are tempted more by the prestige of being on the cutting edge of the medical trend. They have new methods and they want to use them. And it clouds their minds to the moral and ethical issues regarding such life altering changes to children as young as 2-years-old.

Let’s look at Spack’s claim. He claims, the GID children “feel certain they were born with the wrong bodies.” Now, let’s recall that the human brain doesn’t fully mature until around age twenty-five; and at the age many of these kids are now being asked they are just as equally certain that Santa Claus and Bugs Bunny are real, and when people die they simply brush themselves off and keep going like in the cartoons.

It is literally impossible for these kids to fully comprehend the life-long ramifications and consequences surrounding such a major decision.

Spack along with other trend pushing doctors, claim there is emerging research that suggests these children may have brain differences similar to the opposite sex.

Most of the alleged research involves brain imaging, but it’s flawed since the imaging is only done on the subjects (GID kids) after they’ve begun the therapies and treatments.

During my training in psychology I became familiar with the term neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is the capacity of the human brain to change in response to individual experience (including gained knowledge). Simply put, the brain image before an extended period of therapy and treatment is going to look different than the brain functions after the therapy and treatment.

In other words, the alleged emerging research Spack refers to does not prove cause and effect. It may show similar brain functions to the opposite sex, but since the images were taken after therapy and treatment, the therapy and treatment to “accept” themselves as the opposite sex can just as easily be the cause and effect for the change.

I’m equally sure that some of the medical professionals honestly think they are doing the right thing. They are humanists pushing the progressive agenda, with the alleged belief that if the GID kids are encouraged to “accept” their mistaken belief it will help them reach their “true potential.” Unfortunately, good intentions will never transform barbaric practices into something positive.

Remember my favorite Alpha quote: Intelligence without common sense is nonsense.

It doesn’t matter what excuses parents and medical professionals use to convince themselves that it’s okay to use behavior modification, drug treatments, and sex-changing surgery on anyone under the legal age (while the child is incapable of making such decisions)—it’s still wrong! And it will always be morally and ethically wrong; just like it’s wrong to mutilate female genitalia, and the other barbaric practices mentioned earlier.

Unfortunately, money talks, which is why trafficking of kids continues in the sex trade. And with the clear prospect of manufacturing life-long patients that can fund trendy new clinics and make careers, there will be no shortage of medical professionals hopping on board the “Transgender Trend Train.” And the child abuse under the guise of medicine will continue to build momentum.

Alpha’s Quotes: 7th installment

This is the 7th installment of Alpha’s humorous, witty, or common sense quotes.


“A sub that’s tied and gagged learns more than a poser free to brag.”

“A solicitous sub is a godsend to a new Dom.”

“D/s isn’t easy, but it’s worth the effort. So, if you’re not putting forth the effort, don’t complain about the outcome.”

“Don’t judge a sub by their submission or a Dom by their dominance; judge both by the full-measure of their humanity.”

“A Dom that makes their sub constantly walk on egg shells will fall from grace like Humpty Dumpty.”

“If your sub loves to struggle against her binds, don’t use knots that self-tighten.”

“Posers hover around wannabe subs like vultures around a carcass.”

“Even a sassy sub needs to be ungagged if you want a blow-job.”

“Posers that throw their weight around with a sub, are soon alone with only their dick to rub.”

“You can speak your mind daily; have your say, and speak your piece; while your head is between thighs lip-synching, with a pure tongue-in-cheek release.”


Have a good day!

D/s: Dictator or Dom?

D/s—BDSM practitioners primarily involved in public venues, hook-ups, and other temporary or part-time play predominantly fall under the consent and trust relationship foundation, instead of the love foundation that most 24/7 couples build on [*see my post on D/s: comparing foundations]. Sadly, that is why posers, wannabes, and abusers can operate in the public venues for lengthy periods before the word gets out about them.

Curiously, while reading blogs over the past few months, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend among Doms / Dommes in 24/7 relationships. They are making statements and claims that mirror the negative aspects of various Doms / Dommes in the public venues, especially by posers, wannabes, and abusers.

In short, their claims and statements make them sound like little dictators over their subs. They appear to be forgetting some of the most important factors regarding D/s—BDSM relationships. Core elements of the power exchange, such as: Dom and sub are equal partners in the relationship; it is the sub’s wants and needs that drive the relationship, not the Dom’s / Domme’s; by accepting the power exchange and control over the sub the Dom / Domme accepts the responsibility to fulfill the wants and needs of the sub, while keeping them protected and safe physically and emotionally.

So, why are Doms / Dommes in 24/7 D/s relationships boastfully making claims like the following:

“It’s all about my pleasure. He must fulfill my desires. He has no rights, and he needs to know that I have no obligation to please him in anyway.”

“She needs to realize Master is everything. All my wants and needs get met daily. And if there’s no time for hers, she does without.”

“I don’t really know whether he likes what I do to him or not. He doesn’t share his feelings. So, as long as he fulfills my desires I’ll keep doing it my way.”

“She’ll take whatever I give her. I’m the King, she’s the slave. It’s all about pleasing me.”

It sounds like they are getting their dom training and beliefs from the same place, or they are reading each other’s blogs.

I might expect such statements from newbies; but most of the blogs I’m making reference to have been in D/s awhile, or claim to have researched it in-depth. If so, how did they fail to make the connection to basic core elements of D/s—BDSM relationships (such as those mentioned earlier)?

Doms / Dommes serve and protect
In Dom’s Guide to BDSM Vol.1, Mathew Larocco states the following:

…the Master actually has the more complicated role between the two. The master also has the task of giving pleasure and discipline to the slave or sub, and is less focused on taking pleasure himself. A great deal of what you do as a Master will be for the benefit of the sub. You must desire to please a partner, and not simply take what you want (emphasis added).

And for those that act like little dictators and don’t take the responsibility of being a Dom / Domme seriously, Larocco further adds the following:

Because if it’s a joke, or trying it is just an excuse to treat your partner like crap, then no, it’s not healthy and it’s not even going to be very pleasurable for you or your sub. The Caligula-take-all approach to BDSM is an outdated concept and it’s actually evolved into more complex characterizations today, rather than just the Overlord commanding his slave.

In other words, except for posers and abusers who don’t give a shit, newbies should be the only ones who succumb to the antiquated belief that Doms / Dommes have absolute power. But even newbies, if they’re serious about their D/s relationship, should quickly learn that is an erroneous belief.

Many experts in the lifestyle point out, like Larocco’s book, that one of the many misconceptions surrounding D/s—BDSM is falsely believing that “the Dominant controls the submissive.”

Power Exchange
In Leading and Supportive Love: the Truth about Dominant and Submissive Relationships, author Chris M. Lyons states the following:

A healthy Leading and Supportive Relationship is not about roles partners have, but rather the two types of partners who form a relationship that greatly serves both people: a true partnership.

Lyon further claims:

The partners are both dedicated in service to each other and both of them are very clear about it. There is immense appreciation because one could not be who they truly are in the relationship without the service of the other.

And Lyon, a personal coach and relationship expert, adds further credibility with the following:

Dr. Brad Sagarin, a professor of social and evolutionary psychology at Northern Illinois University, asserts that the s-type partner is “a fully-consensual entity” and “an equal partner in the negotiation of this relationship.

Similarly, Larocco includes claims from Studies in the Psychology of Sex by Havelock Ellis:

He [Havelock] also states another little understood secret of the BDSM lifestyle—sadomasochistic activities (distinguished from abusive relationships) involve the “express request of the masochist” who gives the sadist emotional cues and mutually understood signals—in essence prompting and guiding the sadist on how to properly give him pleasure and pain.

In other words, the Dom’s / Domme’s intention and duty is to please the sub. Thus, it is the sub that actually powers or drives the relationship.

“After all,” Larocco concludes, “it is consensual and voluntary, and the only reason a sub would stay in the ‘control’ of a Dom is to experience pleasure/pain in just the way he or she wants.”

It’s the Dom’s / Domme’s job to make their sub happy. They are not supposed to bully and break them for their own pleasure. They are supposed to be giving the sub what the sub wants and needs. That is their duty and service to the sub for accepting control over the sub in the power exchange.

The Doms / Dommes not doing this are acting like dictators, similar to posers and abusers, which we see in the public venues and hook-ups quite often. But it’s surprising to see the same attitudes and actions among the 24/7 D/s relationships lately. It’s a sad trend, since 24/7 D/s relationships are primarily built on foundations of love, not simply consent and trust.

Ignorance is no excuse
Several Doms / Dommes with the Caligula-take-all attitudes make references to not knowing what their sub honestly wants or needs. Nor do they know how their sub feels about the way they are being treated by the Dom / Domme. Both of which are serious failures on the part of the Doms /Dommes with regard to their responsibilities to their subs.

Remember, it is the Dom’s / Domme’s responsibility to fulfill the wants and needs of the sub. That cannot be done if they do not even know what their sub’s wants and needs are; nor how their subs even feel about what’s being done to them, or that they’re made to do without question.

A few of the Doms /Dommes claim their subs are shy, poor communicators, or just don’t like to talk about such things. Which, as experienced leaders know, are just excuses. And when a person relies on excuses to explain away an issue, perhaps they are not as ready for the responsibility of the position as they thought.

Communication: another Dom responsibility
It is the Dom’s / Domme’s responsibility to make sure the wants and needs of both partners are fully understood by both.

In Dom’s Guide to Submissive Training, author Elizabeth Cramer states the following:

Because there is no standard way for people to come into BDSM and everyone has their own ideas about everything from the definition of words to the way submission is practiced, it is important you have a spoken agreed-upon and clear understanding of what you both expect.

Cramer goes on to say:

The DNA of a Dom/sub relationship is consent. It is the foundational stone all the rest of the relationship will be built upon. She can’t give you consent if she doesn’t know exactly what you plan to do and what her service will be like.

While those of us in 24/7 D/s relationships would argue that love is the primary foundation of our relationships, we still acknowledge the need for consent, which is achieved through communication: another key element. And it’s the Dom’s / Domme’s responsibility to ensure that communication begins at the start of the relationship and continues throughout the relationship. And that means honest and open communication.

It’s too tempting for a lot of Doms / Dommes to let their subs make standard sub-claims like, “I just want you to lead and I’ll follow” or “I just want to make you happy.” But those type of statements do not tell the Dom / Domme what the sub truly wants or needs.

Cramer warns of the following:

Be aware that a woman who has a submissive nature is going to tell you everything you want to hear, especially if she can’t actually visualize it happening.

However, when it comes time for her to do it she may balk, or go through with it but hates it, which sets up relationship problems. And this is true of any submissive, male or female, along with anyone else that may have poor communication skills.

Several of the Doms / Dommes that made reference to not knowing, or not caring, about their sub’s wants, needs, or feelings, said they were going to keep doing it their way, and just surprise the subs with each new change.

That’s fine for gifts and rewards, but it can be highly stressful for subs facing the prospect of new levels of pain and/or humiliation.

Cramer suggests the following:

While training can seem unpredictable and challenging to a sub, you don’t want it to become so overwhelming that she withdraws from you. The best way to help her is to share your plans with her up front. This will help her see you are following a well-known methodology, and not just making stuff up.

I would add that it also gains trust when the sub sees their Dom / Domme taking the time to alleviate their fears. The same goes for consistently communicating from the beginning of the relationship onward.

Get even attitude
This is something that really surprises me with the trend I’ve been seeing among Doms / Dommes. And fem-doms seem especially prone to this response for some reason.

On rare occasions when the subs express their honest feelings about something they would rather not do, or they even subtly disagree with how their Dom / Domme is treating them, instead of accepting the sub’s right as an equal partner in the relationship to feel that way, the Doms / Dommes respond like a selfish child on the playground. They make statements like the following:

“I’ll teach him who’s boss! I’ll make him do every hard limit, then kiss and lick my ass afterward.”

“Or, when he criticizes (admittedly subtly and not outright) how I am dominating him. It’s frustrating, and I felt devalued as his Domme.”

“The little bitch had the nerve to ask me to change a ritual she hates. Well, who the fuck’s training who? I told her she’ll do it or get the fuck out.”

“He had the audacity to interrupt a session just to tell me he disliked something I was making him do. So, I made sure he did it again.”

Everyone of the above statements shows an attitude inappropriate for a Dom / Domme. They should be glad their sub is communicating with them. After all, it’s the Dom’s /Domme’s responsibility to fulfill the sub’s wants and needs while keeping them protected and safe. But if their character is not strong enough to accept constructive criticism, or if they take every claim or dislike by their sub as a personal attack that “devalues” them, maybe they should reevaluate if they have what it takes to be a good Dom / Domme. After all, for the above Doms / Dommes to respond as they did over their subs trying to honestly communicate with them is petty and childish. And no Dom / Domme should ever require a sub to do anything on their list of hard limits!

Doms / Dommes need to have the ability to place their sub’s wants, needs, and safety above their own pleasure. If they cannot do this consistently they will never be real Doms / Dommes. They will be no better than the posers and abusers in the public venues that get-off on the power trip of being little dictators.

Last word
If some of the Doms / Dommes quoted in this post (and others too numerous to include) made such statements in the heat of the moment, hopefully they calmed down enough to remember their responsibility as Doms / Dommes.

Unfortunately, from the number of dictator-like statements I’ve found, it really looks like a negative trend that will eventually take its toll on some of these relationships when the subs get fed-up with being overlooked as an equal partner in the relationship.

Positions of power always carry additional responsibility. Those who accept the positions must be willing to sacrifice their pleasures at times to ensure they are meeting the wants and needs of those they have control over, while keeping them protected and safe.

PS: As a natural Alpha, I have a strong urge to protect, and I feel an obligation to speak-up for subs who (for whatever reason) may feel they don’t have an equal say in their relationship. And if my words piss-off their Doms / Dommes, maybe they should question why? Obviously, the truth hurts.

Let go of the power trip and become a mature Dom / Domme. Take care of your sub and they’ll take care of you out of reverence…not just because of some role-playing obligation.

Alpha’s Quotes: 6th Installment

This is the sixth installment of Alpha’s humorous, witty, or common-sense quotes.


“One definition of a good fucking morning: a smiling and moaning sub watching you shave in the mirror as you fuck her from behind.”

“Even if your sub wants to be your little pony, don’t spur her out of the chute.”

“Anal retentive Doms never realize an overabundance of protocols is a waste of time.”

“After-care is worthless to an unsatisfied sub.”

“Complacency kills creativity; for instance, pussy-ala’-sub should be an ever-changing recipe.”

“Fucking your sub raw doesn’t mean satisfaction, it means sore… learn the difference.”

“If you push a sub too far, too fast, all you’ll accomplish is going back to the beginning.”

“The crack of creation from front to back, may be your crack of discovery… or your crack of doom.”

“Doms are skilled rip-off artists: they rip-off tops, bottoms, skirts, bras, panties, etc.”

“You can be sure that all wild sex tales are equal parts perspiration, exaggeration, and imagination.”


Have a good day!