D/s and the Christian belief

I continually come across blogs where someone with a Christian belief is questioning certain aspects of D/s with regard to their faith and beliefs. As a Christian, I too questioned the acceptability of many things when I considered a D/s relationship. In fact, I delved deep and studied every area that even remotely dealt with sex and relationships, because I knew I could never fully let go and enjoy the D/s relationship if it did not, or could not, fit within my faith and beliefs.

The hard truth is that there are definitely areas in the D/s world that are clearly unacceptable to a Christian belief. But there are areas within the D/s world that are acceptable to believers as well.

I can labor long and tediously spell out all the original definitions of the controversial words and topics, along with all the chapters and verses within the biblical texts, but I’ll spare you. I’ll just give a quick rundown on the most widely asked questions and concerns that I’ve come across in the blogs I’ve read.

Masturbation
Solo and mutual masturbation, along with including marital aids is acceptable.
[* And for any naysayers out there, don’t bother bringing up Onan. If you study that story in-depth you will see it has nothing to do with masturbation. He was condemned for disobedience to God, not a sex act.]

Anal
Anal play is acceptable between a man and woman/wife. It may not be politically correct, but it is biblically correct.

Spanking
It is never biblically denounced, and there are acceptable punishments shown, which leans toward acceptability.

Oral
Similar to anal, it is biblically allowed between a man and woman/wife.

Bondage and Discipline
No specific passages on this. However, when compared to other definitions and terminology a good argument can be found to accept milder forms of B&D, but there are areas of extreme B&D that definitely crossover to biblical unacceptability (like bloodletting, etc.).

Marital Aids/Sex toys
Never biblically denounced; it is acceptable within other biblically acceptable areas.

Pornography
Pornographic, nude, or sexual images that do not fall outside of biblically accepted norms are acceptable, but others are not.

Homosexuality
I think everyone knows that homosexuality is “politically correct” but not biblically correct.

Nudity/nudism
It is not denounced, and is acceptable within biblical boundaries.

Role-Playing
It is not denounced, and is acceptable within biblical boundaries.

Multiple Partners Simultaneously
There are certain sects within certain denominations that claim this is acceptable, but they do not do it strictly on a biblical basis, because it is biblically unacceptable.

Let me iterate, the answers given are for Christians that want to know if the specific sexual topics mentioned are biblically acceptable or not. It has nothing to do with political correctness, or any other belief.

Believer/Non-Believer
One thing I noticed in a lot of the blogs with biblical concerns was that a lot of them had a mate that believed and one that didn’t. As long as they have a foundation built on love, honesty, respect, and compatibility, and they communicate well together, they can have a successful D/s relationship. But the faith issue will definitely need to be discussed. And I speak from experience, because kat and I are “unequally yoked,” as the saying goes. However, I’m going to address it from more of a psychological standpoint.

I caution the non-believing mate (especially if it’s the Dom), do not selfishly push the believer into areas that will force them to go against their beliefs. You might convince them to do it for “love” or for “you.” But is it really love, or just your fantasy?

In the long run you may damage their faith, and they will eventually resent you (because they’ll eventually feel guilt or shame for going against their God).

Is it worth it? After all, as their mate (especially a Dom), you’re supposed to care about them, and what makes them happy and gives them peace—plus keeps them protected and safe. Just like they choose to do for you, especially subs, that choose to submit to you physically, their husband/mate, like they spiritually submit to God.

Alpha & kat’s D/s Code:

There is self-discovery through pleasure and pain for those willing, and with the courage, to take the journey.

Relationship bonds strengthen through shared vulnerabilities.

Unconditional love, respect, and total acceptance of your mate earns the trust necessary for Dom and sub to freely be themselves without the need for masks of any kind.

Constant communication, honest and heartfelt, binds the elements of the D/s dynamic and transforms Dom and sub into a cohesive pair: a symbiotic relationship with each reciprocating positive-for-positive.

Arousal Non-concordance

Have you ever been really turned on, quivering and shaking, literally begging your Dom, “Please, please, please, fuck me now, Daddy (or Sir or Master)!” And he says, “Not yet, kitten (or whatever his pet name is for you), not till you’re soaking wet.” And you are not. Maybe he thinks you’re not aroused at all—after all, the proof is in the pudding…er…wetness of the pussy—when in fact you’re about to spontaneously combust.

Or your Dom wants you to try something new, and it doesn’t really do anything for you, but he thinks you’re not being honest because you got wet. Again, wetness = arousal.

This is called arousal non-concordance. It’s nothing new; science has been aware of it for quite some time. And it happens to both women and men, though a much higher percentage of women are affected. It happens when arousal (the subjective feeling of desire) and genital response differ.

All genital response says (in both women and men) is that the genitals are reacting to something they perceive as sexually relevant, and it doesn’t have to be something that turns you on. For instance, pressure against the genitals—think riding a bike or tight pants—can get a reaction. Even watching porn with content that disgusts you can trigger a response. And so can rape. Your genitals—not your brain—perceived a sexual relevance.

Arousal, which is the subjective feeling of desiring/enjoying a sexual activity, takes place in the brain, while genital response takes place in the genitals. And only about 10% of the time do they overlap in women. It’s around 50% of the time for men.

The beauty of D/s is that in this situation you have ample time for your body or mind to play catch-up, to sync. Sex in a D/s relationship is not hurried, it’s slow and sensual, an erotic feast of sensation. There’s no rush to the finish line.

Alpha believes in the school of thought that “foreplay begins after the last orgasm”. When we’re together, he constantly feeds my arousal through words, deeds, and touch, which are not necessarily of a sexual nature. He knows women, knows their arousal is very much based on emotion. He knows he needs to pull my mind and body together for us to have mind-blowing sex. And he knew this before either one of us had heard of arousal non-concordance.

I think arousal non-concordance is more of a problem for vanilla couples than ones who practice D/s, although it still can happen. But if it does, just slow down…maybe request a mind fuck (Works for me!), and reach for the lube. And above all, don’t stress about it.

Rhyme and Reason

This blog is just one of numerous ways I express myself
But me, myself, and I are so much more
The same is true of kat…
what’s been said, or written, or read
It’s just a small part of what we think,
what we feel,
what we explore, cherish, adore…
perhaps even an occasional thing we deplore
Whatever is going on in our hearts or heads;
at least with the primary topics
we’ve chosen to touch upon in this blog…
or additional tidbits from time-to-time,
which doesn’t sound like much of a crime to me

Unfortunately, we too have experienced
what some of you have experienced
when utter fools vomit their comments
derived from brain farts and shriveled hearts
But in a society, that trades J.C. for PC
and tradition for perdition
and sedition—with no better solution,
along with the socio-political point-the-finger
but pass-the-buck never touch the truth omission,
what else could we expect?
When over half the population
cannot intelligently explain why they believe
what they claim to believe
because they’ve acquired their beliefs through sound bytes
instead of reason, research, and experience…
it continually grows an environment
that breeds the technologically plugged-in
but socially disconnected miscreants
that wander the web
and spew chunks of negative chatter
verbal blood splatter
because they know no better way—
like the Mad Hatter

As I always say,
“intelligence without common sense is nonsense”

For those of you that have experienced it
like us, do not fear nor fret
their infantile path to future regret
Forever lost on their self-defeating quest
to Warhol’s fifteen minutes of fame
They, like jesters, verbally masturbate
uninvited
into the lives of strangers
for 15-nano-seconds of infamy

When such fools comment on our blog
kat and I press delete with a smile
and repeat delete if they return after awhile
They do not merit more,
but they do merit less,
for they, like all with entitlement attitudes,
forever take, but produce nothing of value in return
So, we simply spurn their attempts to ignite
a flame of discontent,
which is merely a mask of weak minds
and insecurity,
and the lackadaisical way
of elevating themselves in their own eyes…
by denigrating others,
because they lack the intelligence, character, or talent
to elevate themselves any other way

Kat and I enjoy blogging,
along with the rest of our interests and activities
And the pranks and depravities
of puny-minded pud-nockers
and virtual world stockers
need to stay in their place of disgrace…
cuz’ they’ll never be given space in ours.
After all, delete is so easy to repeat

loud mouth 20

PS: Now that I’ve had my say on the mean-spirited trolling internet assholes of humanity—
I hope and wish the rest of you good people have a nice day.

D/s: Prefer real scenes: (Pt.2) In tune with each other

In the first part of this series I explained how kat and I prefer to incorporate sex into our daily activities, hobbies, past-times, etc., instead of participating in the standard pretend play scenes (like Master/slave, Teacher/student, Doctor/nurse). And I ended the post by explaining how my love for motorcycles can and has been included in our sex-life.

Today’s post will touch on a few ways we utilize music to enhance our sex-life. Continue reading “D/s: Prefer real scenes: (Pt.2) In tune with each other”