I’ve read a few posts recently that have dealt with periods when distance is a factor in maintaining their D/s dynamic. Traveling for business, family obligations, long-distance relationships, and even vacations or weekend trips can disrupt the flow of the D/s dynamic, especially in new D/s relationships. And each couple must communicate and decide how to handle these separations when they arise. Continue reading “Long-Distance D/s”
Submission is not something I granted on a whim, but with the understanding that You would love and cherish me in exchange for what I have freely given. I do not kneel to You out of fear; I kneel out of respect and the need to please You.
Understand that though I am an individual with my own wants and needs, and the desire to see them fulfilled, I want to fulfill Your wants and needs as well. My commitment to Your wellbeing in all areas of our relationship is just as strong as Yours is to me.
Believe that I will do my best to make Your life happy, that I will never intentionally disrespect You or go against Your will. I want to always be Your “good girl”, but if I fail, I will take the punishment that we agreed upon without complaint.
Mistakes will happen on both our parts, but I vow that I will not dwell on Yours, nor will I hold them against You (we are fallible beings, after all). I will never bring them up again in conversation, for as we agreed, they have been addressed and are now in the past.
Including you in every aspect of my life is my desire and my duty. I will not seek out others to take on the role of best friend or confidant or playmate, but will always count on You to fulfill those needs. And I will avail myself to You in any way You see fit, both physically and emotionally.
Showing my submission to You is something I will do every day, both in and out of the bedroom. I know that doing so brings out Your natural dominant personality, thus strengthening our D/s dynamic, allowing both of us to thrive within the relationship.
Sharing my inner self with You is my duty as Your submissive. I cannot expect you to keep me protected and safe if you don’t know my demons.
Intimacy will remain between us. I will not share my worries or concerns–especially regarding our relationship–with anyone but You. I will not allow another person, nether emotionally or physically, entrance within our sacred circle of love, trust, and respect.
Value beyond measure will always be placed on our relationship. I will never intentionally tarnish it by word or deed. I will do everything in my power to keep it strong, to make it a safe harbor for both of us, a place where there is no You or me–only us.
Envelop me in Your love, surround me with high walls only You know how to breach. I need the sanctuary of Your unconditional love to feel truly safe, to be free to be just…me.
Alpha’s Dominant Perspective here
Fulfilling our sub’s wants and needs, especially sexually, is an honor and a privilege for us Doms: not to mention a stroke to our ego and a hell of a fucking turn-on. But it’s also our responsibility to keep our sub protected and safe, and that doesn’t just mean physically. We need to remember their psychological and emotional stability as well. And I caution you to never overlook those areas, or get into the habit of taking them lightly—especially when you consider the fact that women, for the most part, are far more emotional than men. Continue reading “Emotional Reassurance: a Dom’s responsibility”
I’m lucky enough to have a sub that gets wet at the sound of my voice, constantly yearns to be with me, and desires sex as much as I do. So why the hell would I think a period of abstinence would make the heart grow fonder? Well, to be honest, normally I wouldn’t. And yet, it was an act of abstinence this past week that showed me how considerate and caring kat is, and reminded me once more why I love her unconditionally.
Medical issues, a trip to the emergency room, and several days of pain and little sleep are not conducive to maintaining a constant state of arousal. Gee, imagine that. But it did show what a blessing it is to have a relationship where each mate places the immediate needs of the other over their own.
Kat nearly worried herself sick over my pain and discomfort, and she constantly reminded me that she’s always there when I need her.
You may think this is normal in your life and relationship, and if so I congratulate you and hope it always remains that way. Unfortunately my past relationships have been very different. For instance, my first wife chose to create a full-blown scene in the hospital recovery room (after one of my many surgeries) over something she claims I said (that made no sense) while I was fading in and out—still under the influence of the anesthesia. And my second wife—who stayed home while I was in the VA hospital for surgery—wanted me to fuck her brains out the moment I came home after a week all bandaged up with dozens of internal stitches and external staples.
That’s why it is so refreshing to have kat by my side. She is considerate, not selfish and self-centered. And even though I’m the Dom and she’s my sub, she worries as much about me as I do her.
However, with that said, she also knows when to please me.
She knew I was feeling much better today so she surprised me with an arousing opportunity that I immediately jumped on (more than once), followed by cuddling and conversation, and she topped it off with sexy gifts she knows I treasure.
So, in this instance, abstinence did make the heart grow fonder. But it also created enough sexual tension and anticipation to explode when my physical ability once again matched my desire for my sexy adorable sub—he says with a huge smile on his face.
Do not fear my power, control, and authority over you, for I do not demand or take it by force; I earn your voluntary and willing submission by accepting the responsibility of fulfilling your wants and needs while keeping you protected and safe.
Our relationship dynamic, though D/s in nature, will never be like any other relationship, for it will be based solely on us individually and as a couple, and built on our solid foundation of unconditional love, along with respect, trust, honesty, compatibility, and open communication.
Mastering you does not mean lord it over you like a bully or dictator, it means masterfully utilizing a complete knowledge of you physically, mentally, and emotionally to insure the happiest and most fulfilled life we can possibly have together.
I will always take my position as Dominant seriously; I willingly take the responsibility for you and authority over you, and will always place you—and us as a couple—above my own needs and desires.
Never feel that you are below me, for you are an equal partner in our D/s relationship; we compliment and serve each other in our respective roles.
Always remember that your loving submission is the catalyst to inspire my desire to be the best Dom that I can be in order to fulfill your wants and needs, while keeping you protected and safe.
Non-D/s relationships fail in comparison to the D/s dynamic primarily because of the amount of communication necessary to maintain the relationship and the complete level of trust attained when done properly.
Trust, respect, and communication are definitely the keys to a successful D/s relationship when built on a solid foundation of love; so throw away your doubts and dive in, as your loving Dominant I will never let you fall.
[kat’s submissive perspective here]