Alpha’s response to a humbled kat

Humble Pie,” the recent post written by kat was hard for her to write. It’s not easy for most people to admit when they screw-up, especially when they screw-up royally. And, believe me, when kat said she “had to eat a big slice of humble pie,” she wasn’t kidding. She probably gained 20-lbs of humbleness in a single sitting.

Admirably, kat chose to do the post. It is not part of the punishments / consequences that I’ve meted out to atone for her disrespectful act.

Being her Dom and the recipient of the disrespectful act—make that extremely disrespectful—I have the right to expose her deceptive actions. It would be an interesting story and a good object lesson for others.

But I am kat’s Dom and have a greater responsibility to her. And she’s already punishing herself more than any outside influence could ever achieve. So, this story must wait to be told till the day we can both laugh at it in hindsight.

Regarding consequences, I’ve assigned some special tasks for kat to accomplish prior to my return home.

One of the consequences is a writing task specifically designed to make kat relive the incident as a learning experience. She has to spell out exactly what she did, what led up to it and why she believes she would choose to do something so contrary to who she is normally. She must also include a formal apology to me with a promise to accept all punishment and consequences and never do anything like it again.

The second task is the deterrent task. I will not divulge the specifics, but it is a displeasing task from kat’s standpoint to deter her from ever deciding to do the same “naughty girl” action ever again.

Those of you that read kat’s post know that upon my return home she will receive a well-deserved spanking. But she knows it will be delivered without anger, and from a foundation of love. With plenty of after-care to begin the healing.

After that we’ll both be able to put it behind us and move forward: kat healing from the guilt and shame, and me healing from the hurt of fresh cuts to the heart (metaphorically speaking of course).

Yin and Yang

I am negative to His positive

…dark to His bright

He is logical to my emotional

…day to my night

I am soft to His hard

…round to His linear

He is hunter to my prey

…king to my courtier

I am river to His highway

…valley to His mountain

He is solid to my fluid

…thirsty soil to my fountain

I am dream to His reality

…heart to His soul

He is Dom to my sub

…together we are whole

You can do it in D/s

Do you want to give or get a spanking?
Or be voyeuristic with some wanking?
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

Does sopping wet pussy sound succulent and tasty?
Like to lick it and suck it, but not be hasty?
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

Do you like to be gagged and bound,
Suspended from the ceiling, or chained to the ground?
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

Do you get turned on with a butt that’s plugged?
Or do you crave sub-space like an addict that’s drugged?
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

Are you obsessed with the Hershey Highway?
Or do you choose variety, trying to live the Bi-way?
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

Perhaps you’re the type that yearns to be chaste;
Bound and denied, no orgasms to waste.
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

Do you think blowjobs are the best?
Or prefer sandwiching your dick between huge breasts?
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

Do you like to dominate a sex-crazed sub?
Or oil up her body to give you a full body rub?
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

Do you like to seduce with a sexy striptease?
Or do you prefer the sting of a whip while begging, “Please?”
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

I hope I’ve made it clear, and I’ve made my point
Don’t worry about naysayers with their nose out of joint
There’s no one size fits all in the D/s world
Any advice that says there is, is vomited and hurled

Each D/s couple should pick and choose what’s best for each
From vanilla to the darkest kink, it’s all within their reach
What works for you is best for you, that’s the D/s rule
Don’t waste your breath on the contrary—simply pity the fool!

More than just a word

Birthday 3

 

Kat

Someone said your name today

Then went about their business

I thought… how foolish

How inadequate

Do they not see the error of their way?

Acting as if it is a mere word

But it is a magical word

A word that holds an ocean

Our ocean of love

An ocean where you and I sail upon waves of wishes

Where we drown in our passions

And are reborn in pure pleasure

Cast forth…orgasmically…through water spouts

It is a word that travels

To the moon and back

From star to star

Throughout the universe and beyond

To the depths of my soul

To the end of my days

And it is a word that conquers time

The beginning of my life

The whole of my past

The all of my present

The forever of my future

My life after death

And it is the epitome of love

The fulfillment of my needs and desires

The bearer of my heart

Cherished and adored

Loved, liked, lusted

My all

My everything

Forever

And always

Kat… it is more than just a word

 

 

[HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!]

 

Birthday 5

A Man’s Word: Consistency and Respect

Although what I have to say can benefit all, I am primarily speaking to Doms.

There is something good to be said about traditional values when it comes to relationships, yes, even with D/s relationships. And while I have constantly mentioned a strong foundation of love, communication, and trust (among others), I would like to stress a couple more that I see lacking so much in modern-day relationships: consistency and respect.

Integrity

I come from a line of very proud men, men of their word, and men of integrity.

My maternal grandfather was Native American. He endured a lifetime of cruelty and disadvantages because of a corrupt system, and was eventually sent off the reservation during the so-called “New Deal” in the system’s attempt to make him a non-Indian. But no matter what the system did it could not break his spirit. He was a man of his word, a man of integrity, and he eventually overcame all obstacles laid in his path. He became successful on his terms, not theirs. And he never had to sacrifice his word, integrity, or honor.

My paternal grandfather was the son of a soldier. His father was a hero who gave his life defending his country during World War II. And when his widowed mother ran away with every man that would show her a good time, my grandfather (as the eldest child) had to take care of his five siblings in war torn England. It was a responsibility he took very seriously. And he passed it on to my father, who taught me.

I was taught that my word is my bond, a bond far superior to ink on a piece of paper (which lawyers continually find ways around). And I was taught my actions solidified that bond. And a man is not a man if he breaks his word, shames his honor, or loses his integrity.

Past Relationships

Though I am specifically dealing with males in this post, the continued loss of honor and integrity in our society in each successive generation takes its toll in all areas, including relationships.

My life-mate and sub, kat, is the most special person in my life. She is more compatible to me than anyone I’ve ever known. Our communication level is about as flawless as two imperfect beings can be. And I love her unconditionally. But that does not imply that we have not had bumps in the road to overcome. And the predominant reason has nothing to do with how I have treated her, but how she has been treated by other males before I came into her life.

The mistreatment by males from her past has kat constantly questioning my motives, even though she’ll be the first to admit I’ve never given her cause to question me. She knows that when I make a promise I keep it. She knows that when I say something I back it up with my actions. And she knows that honor and integrity are extremely important to me, because that’s how I was raised by male role models I loved and respected.

Unfortunately, what has happened to kat by males in her past is a common occurrence with many women. Males breaking promises, not true to their word, and saying anything just to get what they want. There are too many males that disrespect their women in numerous ways. Too many males that speak of pride, but it’s a false pride, for they lack integrity, and have no honor.

Is it any wonder that many women have trust issues? And yes, I know that many men can say the same thing for the present day lack of integrity in females. But it is our responsibility, as Doms, to fulfill the wants and needs of our subs while keeping them protected and safe. So it is imperative that we gain their trust or they will never truly feel protected and safe. And without feeling protected and safe, they will never truly open up and give all of themselves to us and the relationship. And that’s what the D/s dynamic is all about, allowing both Doms and subs to open up and freely be who they are.

Inconsistent and Disrespectful

One of the quickest ways to spot doms that are novices, wannabes, or posers is to see their inconsistency and disrespect toward their subs. And you see this far more with those drawn to the public outlets and play sessions than for those that make it their lifestyle (for obvious reasons).

Consistent and Respectful

Mature and experienced Doms understand their responsibilities as the dominant partner, and take those responsibilities seriously. They know that consistency is a critical factor in building trust with their sub. They will go out of their way to make sure their actions mirror their words. And if they do not feel they can fulfill a promise, or cannot honestly guarantee that they can fulfill a promise, they will not make the promise. In those situations, they may simply promise to do the best that they can—which subs should also do when led into an area that’s new to them (like kat does when I introduce her to a new area within the D/s world, since this is her first D/s relationship).

Mature and experienced Doms likewise show respect to and for their subs at all times; and that includes relationships where subs yearn for, and agree to, humiliation during sessions (because it is the Dom’s responsibility to fulfill the sub’s wants and needs). Subs are always to be treated with respect within the agreed upon parameters.

For those, like kat and I, who do not pretend or merely participate in the play sessions, but include the D/s dynamic within our lifestyle, respect is crucial. She is not merely a play thing brought out for sessions; she is my soul-mate, my partner, my best friend, my confidante, my muse, and so much more. And she has grown to trust me because she has continually seen my actions mirror my words, my promises (big or small) are always kept, and I respect her at all times in all areas.

Last word

Traditional values often receive a bad rap in a progressive society. But when it comes to honor, integrity, and being true to your word, men with traditional values outshine the alternatives hands-down. They treat women with respect and take their responsibilities seriously. And if you want to be a proper Dom always be consistent with your word and respectful to your sub. It will earn the trust that’s needed for a good D/s relationship to succeed.