D/s: Three-part punishment plan

There was some interest shown over a recent post when I briefly described a 3-part punishment plan. So, I decided to elaborate a little more on the topic.

First off, I do not use the 3-part plan for every offense. There are various minor infractions that do not require more than a stern warning or quick spanking. But I have found the 3-part plan beneficial for all medium to major offenses.

Why the 3-part plan?
Anyone that has followed us for any length of time knows that I have been in D/s a long time. So, I have read, heard, or seen just about every imaginable concept of punishment in or out of the D/s community.

Before settling on a plan that fit my personality and beliefs (as a Dom and a man) I drew heavily on my psychology training and investigative experience.

I had enough experience and knowledge to know the basic elements I was looking for. After all, it was basic common sense. I just needed a workable plan that I could use in any given situation with the proper results: that my sub/kat would not (or rarely) commit the same offense again.

The three primary factors I looked for was a quick response, a way for my sub/kat to learn from the experience, and something to ensure that she would not want to do it again. And that’s how I settled on the idea of combining corporeal punishment with a learning task and a deterrent task.

Corporeal punishment
Spanking is effective as long as the practice is not abused. In fact, there is a wealth of evidence to show that corporeal punishment—when properly applied—can have long-lasting positive effects.

Psychologically speaking, the best results occur if you adhere to the following: (1) the closer the spanking is to the infraction the greater the mental connection it will have on the offender (spanking on the same day as the offense is preferable, though not always possible). (2) Absolutely NEVER spank when you’re angry and not thoroughly in control of your emotions. It is the #1 reason why people turn a positive act, like corporeal punishment, into an abusive situation. (3) Calmly communicate with your sub prior to the spanking: reminding them of their infraction, their consensual agreement to punishment for negative behavior which can affect the relationship, and your love for them. (4) Administer the appropriate spanking for that particular infraction. (5) And follow it with affectionate after-care while reminding them again of your love.

Learning task
Psychologically speaking, again, there is plenty of evidence to show that humans made to confront their negative behavior—in combination with corporeal punishment—are more likely to abstain from the behavior in the future. Various research has shown between 32-65% more offenders have abstained from recommitting their offense when the two were combined.

For the best results, make sure the learning task is created specifically for the offender: taking into account their personality and primary way of learning.

Deterrent task
Although corporeal punishment and learning tasks can be useful deterrents to bad behavior, it is a good idea to include a specific deterrent task designed for the offender.

The task should be appropriate to the offense and be so disliked by the offender that they will not want to do it again.

Deterrent tasks—combined with corporeal punishment and learning tasks—are even more effective then when used separately. Research suggests between 48-83% more effective.

Last word
The combination of all three—spanking, learning task, and deterrent task—fulfill the three primary factors I looked for. The spanking can be administered quickly to fulfill the quick response factor. The learning task allows the sub to learn from the experience. And the deterrent task is specifically designed so the sub would never want to endure it again.
Just remember that everyone is different, and each plan needs to be tailor-made for the Dom and sub it will be used for and by.

Taken in Hand

Ordered to lie
Facedown on bed
Blindfold on eyes
Hands tied, legs spread

Hard smack of hand
On panty-clad ass
Wanton hips rise
Lips gasp

Rough hand jerks panties
Down to quivering knees
Leather softly caresses
Please, Daddy, please…

Slap…squeal of pain
Slap…moan of pleasure
He knows what she craves
He’s taken her measure

Rosy blush that blooms
Dusky bruises that form
Will color her world
And keep her heart warm

His marks on her body
Will be a reminder every day
To mind her Daddy Dom
Or she will pay

But please tell me this—
Is a sound spanking really pay
Since she’s been a good girl
Or instead fundamental play

For kat needs Daddy
To take her in hand
To tame her wild side
And prove he’s a man

Alpha’s response to a humbled kat

Humble Pie,” the recent post written by kat was hard for her to write. It’s not easy for most people to admit when they screw-up, especially when they screw-up royally. And, believe me, when kat said she “had to eat a big slice of humble pie,” she wasn’t kidding. She probably gained 20-lbs of humbleness in a single sitting.

Admirably, kat chose to do the post. It is not part of the punishments / consequences that I’ve meted out to atone for her disrespectful act.

Being her Dom and the recipient of the disrespectful act—make that extremely disrespectful—I have the right to expose her deceptive actions. It would be an interesting story and a good object lesson for others.

But I am kat’s Dom and have a greater responsibility to her. And she’s already punishing herself more than any outside influence could ever achieve. So, this story must wait to be told till the day we can both laugh at it in hindsight.

Regarding consequences, I’ve assigned some special tasks for kat to accomplish prior to my return home.

One of the consequences is a writing task specifically designed to make kat relive the incident as a learning experience. She has to spell out exactly what she did, what led up to it and why she believes she would choose to do something so contrary to who she is normally. She must also include a formal apology to me with a promise to accept all punishment and consequences and never do anything like it again.

The second task is the deterrent task. I will not divulge the specifics, but it is a displeasing task from kat’s standpoint to deter her from ever deciding to do the same “naughty girl” action ever again.

Those of you that read kat’s post know that upon my return home she will receive a well-deserved spanking. But she knows it will be delivered without anger, and from a foundation of love. With plenty of after-care to begin the healing.

After that we’ll both be able to put it behind us and move forward: kat healing from the guilt and shame, and me healing from the hurt of fresh cuts to the heart (metaphorically speaking of course).

You will bomb as a Dom

If you do it for the bragging rights
Or simply for the sexual heights
You will bomb as a Dom

If you do it for the power trip
And cause your sub to slide and slip
You will bomb as a Dom

If you overuse and abuse protocols
All service to you while your sub falls
You will bomb as a Dom

If you love to whip and flog sub flesh
But forget after-care, no time for sub to refresh
You will bomb as a Dom

If you love to spank and crank out sub tears
But fail to alleviate all your sub’s fears
You will bomb as a Dom

If you love to bind and gag your slave
But never reciprocate the things they crave
You will bomb as a Dom

If you thrive on the pain your sub will feel
But deny their pleasure you’ll break the deal
You will bomb as a Dom

If you fail to fulfill the wants and needs of your sub
While keeping them protected and safe… well here’s the rub
You will bomb as a Dom

If you do not possess the capabilities
To fulfill all the Dominant’s responsibilities
You will definitely bomb as a Dom

Disrespect

Kat knew alcohol was no excuse. It merely lowered her inhibitions enough to follow through on something she had been curious about for quite a while. What would Alpha do if she ever disrespected him.

Kneeling beside the bed—wearing nothing but her collar and panties, with the belt draped over her thighs—she recalled how she had originally envisioned disrespecting Alpha while they were alone. She had only wanted to push it just enough to see what he would do.

She could not get enough of his erotic spankings and impact play. And she was surprised to realize the additional control he exerted over her during maintenance spankings actually increased her arousal substantially; so much so, she became increasingly interested in knowing what a real punishment session would be like.

She and Alpha had been together several months at this point. But they were so compatible, and communicated so well, that she had never done anything deserving punishment. So, it was up to her to initiate an incident that would end in a punishment session. Unfortunately, the plan went astray.

Kat thought they would be alone on this Friday evening, but a couple of Alpha’s old military buddies dropped by unannounced, with their ‘main squeezes’ riding bitch on the back of their Harleys.

Alpha had served in an elite military unit prior to receiving a medical discharge after being wounded.

During his tour of duty, he and four of his teammates, all Harley riders, formed a tight bond: a real ‘band of brothers’ as the saying goes.

Kat had heard stories of how tight the guys were—having gone in-and-out of harm’s way multiple times together—but this was the first time she had seen it firsthand.

Normally, she would be supportive in such situations. But, the combination of the night not going as planned, having to play hostess while entertaining the two ladies she’d found little in common with, and a few too many alcoholic beverages set the stage for the inevitable—she blatantly disrespected Alpha in front of his special guests.

Alpha, always in control of his emotions, calmly ended the evening and bid his friends adieu, after setting up another get-together in a couple weeks. Before locking up the house and turning everything off, he told Kat to strip down to panties only, choose an implement of punishment, and kneel beside the bed.

The time alone waiting for Alpha to enter the bedroom heightened both her apprehension and arousal. She knew her Dom well enough to know he would never lose his cool: he loved her and would keep her protected and safe. But she equally knew being disrespected was a major issue with him. He treats everyone with respect and expects it in return. So, she knew he would not let this pass. She only hoped she could endure it without falling to pieces, or getting mad; after all, she brought it on herself. And yet, in spite of it all, she could not deny the arousal that enveloped her with the knowledge that the man she loved would exercise his complete authority over her. Something that has always made her weak in the knees, soft in the heart, and wet between her legs.

During the beginning of their 24/7 D/s relationship it was agreed that Alpha had complete authority over her body, and while she was allowed hard and soft limits for normal sex sessions, she had no say over her punishments.

A shiver traversed her spine as she heard footfalls in the hallway, and she squeezed her thighs together.

She felt his presence enter the room before seeing him, and her breath became shallower.

He came up behind her and she saw something quickly drop by her eyes, then felt the soft fabric of a scarf separate her lips. It caught her by surprise, as Alpha secured it in place. He has shoved her panties in her mouth on occasion, but he has never gagged her securely like this before.

“Your mouth has got you into trouble,” Alpha said calmly. “And I’m not going to listen to any excuses.”

He tested the tension on the gag: tight enough to impede speech, but loose enough to allow air-flow.

He grabbed a fistful of Kat’s hair as he leaned forward to speak close to her ear.

“You will take the consequence of your action,” said Alpha, “because it’s obvious that you did it on purpose.”

Kat noticed that Alpha’s tone was different, then she realized why. He wasn’t just disappointed in her, she had really hurt him. And she immediately felt awful.

She had been so focused on the possibility of experiencing a new level of impact pleasure/pain, that she failed to contemplate what her action would do to Alpha emotionally.

Alpha is a strong man and rarely opens up emotionally to anyone; yet, he has opened up to Kat more than anyone… ever. And she just did something to him she knows he hates.

Kat no longer wanted to experience the punishment out of kinky curiosity. She now believed she deserved whatever punishment her Daddy planned to administer.

“Arise,” said Alpha, “and stand centered at the foot of the bed.”

Kat complied.

“Drop the belt on the bed.”

She did.

“Bend forward,” he said. “Arms straight out to the sides.”

She got into position, and Alpha secured her wrists to the cuffs and chains attached to the posts.

He positioned himself behind and slightly left of Kat’s bent form. He then caressed her pantie-clad ass, as he spoke.

“There will be after-care,” he said. “We will then put it behind us and move forward.”

He slid his hand under the waistband and pushed her panties down, again surprising Kat. He’s always begun the erotic and maintenance spankings with her panties up. And that wasn’t the end of her surprises.

Alpha reached forward and took hold of the belt.

Oh, my god! Kat thought. He’s not going to warm me up with hand spanking first.

Alpha leaned forward to speak to Kat once more.

“Erotic and maintenance spankings are to be enjoyed,” he said, as if reading her mind. “Punishment would not be a deterrent if I made it pleasurable.”

In the moment that Alpha stood, a side of Kat both understood and accepted the need for punishment to remain a deterrent.

Then another surprise occurred. As Alpha reared back, then delivered the first belt lash across Kat’s bare bottom, thoughts from Kat’s darker, deeper, kinkier side arose, and she couldn’t help getting aroused over being totally controlled by the man she adored…the same as when he ravished her passionately. So, while part of her disliked the intense pain, the other side of her hoped it was just the beginning of a long hard session.