All a Dom needs

See your sub kneel and reverently look at you

Smell the sweat of her inflamed body in service to you

Taste the elixir of arousal between her legs

Hear the whimpers, moans, and screams of satisfaction

and feel your bodies quiver together in the throes of orgasmic release.

 

On a good day—it’s all you’ll need.
On a bad day—it’s all you’ll need.

Obsession

When a long-term fantasy becomes a mind-blowing reality, does the object of obsession decrease, increase, or transform?

The spent form before him glistened from the staggered moonlight squeezing between the half-closed blinds. His sweat mingled with hers. His the more abundant, the outpouring of intense effort.

No outward effort on her part, though equally intense…for she had to endure.

Naked. Completely exposed to his wandering eyes and roaming hands. A visual feast. A tantalizing tactile trip from head-to-toe, with countless repeat journeys.

The first ninety-minutes of the session spread-eagled on her back: wrists and ankles bound. The second half of the session on her stomach, ass raised on pillows. No gag. Never a gag. It’s such a fucking turn-on to hear, with clarity, every whimper, moan, groan, and scream his obsessive use of her body elicits—but especially the words.

Though he is a man—and like most men, visually stimulated—never discard auditory arousal. The rush he gets when she pleads to be spanked and fucked harder triggers a harder erection. When she begs him to “please stop,” knowing full-well he’ll push her to the next level can actually add an inch to his member. And when she screams “Daddy” in the throes of orgasmic release, he’s forever thankful to be a man—and a natural Alpha.

So, when a long-term fantasy becomes a mind-blowing reality, does the object of obsession decrease, increase, or transform?

In his case, she increased and transformed into his sole object of affection and adoration.

D/s Dom on campus meets wannabes with no class

After a Power Point presentation
at my alma mater, OSU
A young man named Tim
with a shit-eating grin,
said, “How can I do what you do?”

There always seems to be at least one
after I’ve given a talk on D/s
that think two hours of wisdom
can be condensed into a sentence
of ten words or less

Did he want to be a mature Dom
desiring to treat his sub right?
Hell no! “Don’t waste my time,” he said
“Where do I find the subs
that I can own and fuck all night?”

Sometimes I simply shrug it off
a silent scoff at misguided youth
Other times things just stink too bad
I began to think he was the missing link
His words and actions the proof

Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse
another fellow came up to say,
“Can Doms really have a stable of slaves
all at his beck and call? –
Come on, man—point the way!”

Needless to say, my frustration grew
They heard my lecture but missed the point
Self-centered play date posers
and dungeon dom wannabe losers
always get my nose out of joint

So, I casually looked them in the eyes,
both number one and number two fool
Neither of you are ready for a slave…
You won’t protect your sub, it’s just sex you crave
After all, how would you like to be a slave to someone like you?

Proving their immaturity, they huffed and puffed and gave me the look
and had the audacity to call me a “kinky freak”
I smiled and said, “The exit’s that way…
Go find a nursery where you can play
You’ll never be Doms in demand with characters so weak.”

Obviously, they both wanted to punch me…
but for once they showed a bit of sense
You see, those who can’t are aware of those who can,
wannabes and posers imitate the can-do man…
but quickly back-off when their arrogance runs into real confidence

All subs deserve a Dom that earns respect and trust
It’s a necessity, not a suggestion…it’s an actual factual must
Take your time when you select…
Be forthright and direct…
Don’t get stuck with a dom that’s derelict

A Halloween Bedtime Story

Mia froze, held her breath. Listened.

The encroaching night pressed in on her, warm, humid…silent, the wild thumping of her heart the only sound that broke its canopied darkness. She turned a slow circle, eyes probing the trees and dense underbrush crowding the running trail, alert for the tiniest movement, the rustle of a branch, the turn of a leaf.

She let out her pent breath, along with a nervous laugh. She had only imagined the soft footfalls pacing her, that crisp snap of a twig. Nothing stirred in the moon-dappled shadows.

With a shake of her head, she set off down the path once more in an easy jog. But her mind wasn’t easy; heat knifed between her shoulder blades, as if eyes were boring into her back. The sweat beading her body turned cold. Goose flesh prickled her arms.

More times than she could count, she had run this trail as twilight was bleeding into night. But this was the first time she had felt anxious, almost…afraid. Continue reading “A Halloween Bedtime Story”

D/s: Comparing Foundations

At a well-known fetish event held yearly in San Francisco an alleged BDSM master was asked what foundational qualities he preferred in a new sub he was beginning a relationship with. Without hesitation, he said, “I prefer them alive, with a wet pussy, tight ass, and the ability to suck a golf ball through a garden hose.”

That answer places him, thankfully, in the minority—approximately two-percent of those participating in the D/s-BDSM world—where a variety of foolish and selfish foundational ideas exist.

The other ninety-eight percent of us—anyone with an IQ over 50—adhere to one of two primary foundational beliefs: the consent and trust foundation or the love foundation.

Consent and Trust
In the introduction to Dom’s Guide to Submissive Training Vol.2, by Elizabeth Cramer, the author claims the following: “There are two foundational pillars of a BDSM relationship between a Dom and a sub: consent and trust. Everything else in the relationship—the fun, the love, the discipline, the eroticism, the tears and the journey—are all built on these standards.”

Approximately forty-eight percent of D/s-BDSM practitioners adhere to this foundational belief. And the vast majority that adhere to this belief were attracted to the lifestyle prior to the relationships.

The kink, the fetish, the dark side is a powerful magnet that can easily seduce individuals with unmet sexual needs and fantasies. Thus, many people gain entrance into the D/s-BDSM world through a variety of outlets strictly catering to sexual fulfillment.

Private clubs, parties, dungeons, play groups, fetish fairs and kink conventions, along with Fet-Life and other fetish related social sites, and various other outlets introduce many people to the D/s-BDSM world while encouraging anything imaginable in couplings. And the universal belief is…as long as the participants are consenting adults and trustworthy, anything goes.

Love
A very wise person, my grandmother, once told me the following: “Never commit to a relationship that isn’t solidly built with a foundation of love.”

Love cannot guarantee a successful relationship, nothing can, but statistically it has a far better chance of succeeding than any other foundation.

Approximately half of all practitioners of D/s-BDSM adhere to the belief of a love foundation. The lion’s share that adhere to this belief were already in a committed relationship prior to participation in the D/s-BDSM world.

Many of these couples turned to D/s-BDSM to spice up a declining sex-life or explore fantasies or personality traits in one or both mates.

I let kat know early—during the long-distance phase of our relationship—that I have a natural Alpha personality. And, while I prefer relationships that include the D/s dynamic, it must first be built on a solid foundation of love.

Choosing Between the Two Primary Beliefs
If you are an individual or couple interested in pursuing a D/s-BDSM relationship, make sure you take into consideration your specific wants and needs. The best time for introspection and preparation is always before you commit to a new venture. You would think such planning was logically obvious, and yet, people dive into life-changing situations constantly with little or no thought given to the consequence of their actions.

TK was introduced to BDSM through porn, which inspired him to seek out ways to participate directly. Online connections led to play groups and dungeons, and it quickly became apparent to him that his main goal was sexual gratification in as many ways as possible with as many willing partners as he could get. So, consent through the basic contracts, and trusting both parties will adhere to the contracts is the most that he can commit to at this point in his life.

LY & PY were married eleven years before they considered including D/s into their relationship. It was not an easy decision to make. Their vanilla marriage had been mostly positive, but the transition to middle-age played heavy on PY’s self-image and belief that she’d failed to express her true self: her fantasies always included submission, both sexually and non-sexually. But LY finally consented after a lengthy period of communication, as long as the marriage remained traditional with the foundation of love retaining priority over the D/s dynamic. That change occurred six-years ago and is still going strong.

Last Word
Though I’ve always been partial to relationships built on a solid foundation of love—and all available statistics show relationships built on a loving foundation last longer than others—I can see the appeal of a consent and trust foundation for individuals that are more self-centered. If the goal is sexual gratification a foundation built on consent and trust alleviates the deep emotional attachment that committed love brings to relationships.

Just be sure you truly know what you need and want so you can choose the best foundation for you.