A poser’s wet dream

Clear a path you do-gooder Doms
vacate your ‘ho’ and climb a tree
cuz’ I’m gonna pack your slut
and widen her with my girth
I’m a silver-backed he-gorilla
on a jungle wide jamboree
and I’ve come to D/s-ville to celebrate my birth

I was spawned by the Head-Master
a true natural disaster from over yonder
in the Valley of BDSM
where no self-respecting Dom could ever dwell
Where every sub is as gentle as a twister
and ownership includes their sister
and an obligation to daily grind and blister
their twats hotter than hell

I was suckled by a flea-bitten badger
and weaned on tick and chigger gin
Sidewinders were my playmates as a young buck
and everyday I had to train
to become a chip off the ‘old block’
My tongue and gums were numb from so much cunnilingus
and I’d wear out a house of hussies
filling their pussies to the brim
just to warm-up my cock

I’m a one-of-a-kind Dom like no other
I’ll fuck your sisters, aunts, and mother
I’ll even make your straight-laced brother queer
But only if they beg all night
all whimpers, whines, and moans
and finally bribe me with a keg of beer

So, line-up gents, handover your subs
I’ll school you all in how to dominate
But don’t wait up, cuz’ I’m feeling frisky
and I’ve switched to whiskey
and I plan on filling each hole twice—
maybe thrice
Now give me some breathing room
don’t cramp my style
and I’ll send what’s left of your subs
back to you if you’re patient—
cuz’ it’ll take awhile

Yep! He was getting horny
His member grew an inch
Unfortunately, he only began with two
And now comes the thorny part
when it did quiver and flinch
He tried to pinch off the tip
while the whole shaft hid in his palm
But before he got his grip
there was a tiny pop and fizzle—
and over his hand it lightly did drizzle

No thunder-clap or roaring wind
just a spit before the calm
Another day was dawning
His right hand his only friend
The only sub in sight
a half-eaten sandwich
“Another masturbation morning,” he said
“What a bitch!”
though he hasn’t even mastered that

Good morning, little Peter Poser
a sad sack and loser
you’ll never have a sexy sub that creams and screams
Though, even you have a place to enter
Not as a Dom, as a john
and you won’t own, you’ll rent her
And, of course, you have each night
when you rest your weary head
when you lay upon your bed
and soak your hand
playing a Dom in your dreams

You can do it in D/s

Do you want to give or get a spanking?
Or be voyeuristic with some wanking?
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

Does sopping wet pussy sound succulent and tasty?
Like to lick it and suck it, but not be hasty?
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

Do you like to be gagged and bound,
Suspended from the ceiling, or chained to the ground?
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

Do you get turned on with a butt that’s plugged?
Or do you crave sub-space like an addict that’s drugged?
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

Are you obsessed with the Hershey Highway?
Or do you choose variety, trying to live the Bi-way?
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

Perhaps you’re the type that yearns to be chaste;
Bound and denied, no orgasms to waste.
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

Do you think blowjobs are the best?
Or prefer sandwiching your dick between huge breasts?
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

Do you like to dominate a sex-crazed sub?
Or oil up her body to give you a full body rub?
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

Do you like to seduce with a sexy striptease?
Or do you prefer the sting of a whip while begging, “Please?”
It’s okay, you can do it in D/s.

I hope I’ve made it clear, and I’ve made my point
Don’t worry about naysayers with their nose out of joint
There’s no one size fits all in the D/s world
Any advice that says there is, is vomited and hurled

Each D/s couple should pick and choose what’s best for each
From vanilla to the darkest kink, it’s all within their reach
What works for you is best for you, that’s the D/s rule
Don’t waste your breath on the contrary—simply pity the fool!

Total Eclipse vs Solar Fuck Fest

“Come one, come all,” I’ve heard all year

See the total eclipse of the sun

And you live in a place to see it well

You’ll have oodles and boodles of fun

 

You’ll have people come to town

That have never been here before

Perhaps a quarter-of-a-million folks

And some say maybe more

 

NASA has already sent a team

Months ahead for preparation

To tell of the Solar Fest

It’s more fun than masturbation

 

And have you heard how properties

Up for sale in these three counties

Have been bought by greedy bastards

In order to charge exorbitant bounties

 

And all the local establishments

Are hawking Solar Fest fare

Like cheap ass glasses to scorch your eyes

You forgot “buyer beware”

 

And because of the looky loos a comin’

The rainbow crowd has come to roost

Not to brighten the festivities

But they sure give our crime stats a boost

 

I know exactly where I’ll be

During the total solar eclipse

Watching kat’s sexy ass moon the sun

Shading me as I lick her pussy lips

 

And while all the millions stare at the sun

Some that will even risk going blind

I’ll gladly send kat to sub-space

While butt-fucking her from behind

 

So go on and enjoy your total eclipse

If that’s really the best you can do

I’ll spend it with kat who’s eclipsed my heart with hers

Cuz’ my folks didn’t raise no fool

 

And when you go to tell your tale

About how you enjoyed Solar Fest

Standing like an idiot staring at the sun

I’ll speak of a tale concerning kat’s tail

And know that it’s I who was truly blest

And wisely enjoyed the greater fun

 

eclipse 13

A Bloody Lesson

[This is not our usual type of post, and if talking about blood gets you queasy, please skip this post.]

I’m going to talk about something from the male perspective, but I found out that something similar can occur to females as well.

I went through something recently that, although I’m middle-aged, I had never heard or read about, and it was rather a rude awakening. And it is for that reason I’m telling the embarrassing tale. I truly hope it doesn’t happen to any of you, but just in case it does maybe by hearing about it before it does from someone who has gone through it might ease your mind. Just remember the key words: don’t panic.

While showering I noticed a simple spot just off-center on the head of my penis. It was very small, and looked like either a mole or the beginning of a pimple (which I thought was really weird, since I’d never even developed pimples during adolescence). And upon further investigation there were no other visible symptoms.

Having never encountered this before, and not wanting oddities popping up where I didn’t want them, I decided to rub it clean or pick it off.

Big mistake!

As soon as the tiny spot popped off blood began to pour out…and I do mean pour! In just seconds blood was pooling in the tub and both my hands were a bloody mess—which made it a bit difficult to grip things that needed to be gripped and grab things that needed to be grabbed in an effort to stop the flow.

I will spare you all the bloody details of my various attempts to squelch the flow, except to tell you that I finally accomplished the task with the medical equivalent of choking the chicken. But by the time I stopped the bleeding the place looked like a slaughter house. After all, that part of the anatomy ebbs and flows (is soft or hard) based on blood circulation. And along with the bathtub, the floor, toilet, wastebasket, and a couple towels were soaked or splattered with blood. And, of course, along with my hands I was splattered from the waist down and needed another shower.

Now you have to understand that I’ve seen a lot of violence and bloodshed in my life, so I don’t get flustered easily. I didn’t yell out or try to call anyone: no, not even kat. I simply focused my energy on stopping the blood. However, as soon as it was stopped I recall thinking the following:

“I’ve survived the barrio, military wounds, years of investigations and being shot at, along with a lifetime of seeking adrenaline rushes in activities like skydiving, scuba diving, mountain climbing, etc, and here I almost died from a pimple on my pecker.”

Well, as it turned out it wasn’t a pimple, it was similar to a blood blister, and the blood filled up inside instead of near the surface. That’s why I couldn’t see it.

I found out that males and females can develop these around their genitalia, and they can look like pimples, moles, blackheads, and even age spots. But, heaven forbid, if you ever get one please learn from my embarrassing mistake… don’t rub, scratch, or pick it.

[Please see MisterMan’s comment below for another possible explanation.]

Guilty of Lust in the 1st Degree

We have sessions quite traditional and ordinary

Using hugs and kisses, caresses, and missionary

But truth be told

It truly gets old

So with sex we change it, rearrange it, and often vary

 

If your sex life is in danger of being too nice

Just change the recipe and add some spice

Get out of the rut

Fuck her hard like a slut

And tell her she’s worth twice the price

 

Have date nights where you charm her to score

Then unshackle your passion and let it soar

You’ve built the trust

Now set free the lust

Love her like a wife, but fuck her like a whore

 

As a Dom you should love, like, and lust her

And always earn the right to be called “Sir”

Want to hear her scream?

Spread her cheeks and ream

Then fuck her ass hard like a real Master

 

I’ve allowed my sub to start when acting coy

She often kneels and offers a belt as her ploy

I politely do “Thank”

Then give her a good spank

Knowing she wants to be used like a fuck toy

 

There are times when you let her simply suck you

You can change it up by face fucking her too

Then cum on her face

For a change of pace

But without the cock whipping—don’t be cruel

 

If you want your sub submitting willingly

Fulfill her darkest desires orgasmically

Do what it takes

So she quivers and quakes

Stay guilty of lust in the 1st degree