Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: 3rd Installment

Here is the 3rd installment of Alpha’s bawdy word play, erotica, or tongue-twisters.


Delightful Disorder
I seek dishevelment of your dress
Eschew your clothing for wantonness
I care not if they be elegant or lavish
For it is you I love and lust; just you I wish to ravish
No lace to hide thy face; no silk and satin shield
I rip, shred, and cast asunder, yearning flesh to be revealed
Passion conquers patience, when Dom craves sub or slave
Tempestuous actions, wave upon wave
Till there’s nothing left of your attire
Just the burning flames of human desire
Not one fabric thread left upon skin
After romantic ravishing it would be a sin
But, there upon the neck you’ll find
An ornate metal collar: a symbol divine
Possessed and owned by the one who loves thee
Who equally bears his commitment about his neck…
In the form of a heart-shaped key

Cupid’s Cutie
Cupid cuddled with a cutie
In an unofficial duty
And he popped the cherry booty
Of this sexy little beauty
Imagine his surprise
When thru enamored eyes
He finally realized
The sexy booty cutie
Had seduced him with lies
After sex he had kissed her
And she had left and he had missed her
Then his body began to blister
An STD that began to fester
But here’s the real tester
Cupid’s cutie was his long-lost sister

Cleever the Beaver
Cleever the Beaver had a fever
And didn’t feel very well
And he felt like he would vomit from the unknown Comet
His mate has fed him for a spell
But Cleever the Beaver soon felt his mate was a deceiver
Which made him mad enough to kill
So, Cleever cleaved her, then heaved her
In various parts over-the-hill
Where Cleever the Beaver decided to leave her
With all her parts scattered around
Knowing all the parts would disappear
Cuz’ of all the scavengers that abound
Now, Cleever the Beaver has no fever
And he’s back to feeling well

Adam Bristol
Adam Bristol has a sex-pistol
He made it in shop class today
His sister, Crystal, demo’d the sex-pistol
And received an instant “A”
Adam went from nerd to top of the herd
Cuz’ of his orgasmic invention
He was even tagged a “bad boy”
And was given his first detention
The detention was just a ploy
Created by Principal Hatch
To try out Adam’s new toy
Deep within her hairless snatch
She whimpered and moaned
And screamed with delight
As he triggered the speeds
And topped her off right
Adam’s position continued to grow
His future looked quite bright
Maidenheads popped, with cool after-glow
And love and lust steadily ignite
Then bribes from moms and pops
Any amount to alleviate fears
Adam is not son-in-law material
But now he can afford his dream careers
The moral of the story regarding the sex-pistol
Is that anything that makes a happy girl or wife
Can give you the means to dream
And with dreams create your own happy life

Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: 2nd Installment

This is the second installment of Alpha’s bawdy word play, erotica, and tongue-twisters.


Stroke of Luck
There is no finer nub to see
Then that which she calls her “clitty”
Nature’s nub for tongue to tease
When amorous play aims to please
Flick it, lick it, nibble, and suck
Take it as a sign of your changing luck

Nikki & Nick
Naughty Nikki seduced Nice Nick
She’d been told he had a ten-inch dick
But she learned quick the rumor was wrong
What gagged and shagged her was a full foot long
Twelve-inches long, and four-inches around
When he came in her mouth she nearly drowned
When she sat on the cock it throbbed and bobbed
Then cast her forth like a grenade when lobbed
The climax erupted like a fiery volcano
And flushed her clean like a shot of Drano
Completely satisfied, she got up to go
But Nick was now nasty, and said, “Hell no!”
Nikki awakened the beast within…
The beast that is said to live in all men
When the beast is aroused it wants to howl
It’s a hunter by nature, and goes on the prowl
It takes what it wants and wants what it craves
And those who interfere may soon reside in graves
When you awaken the beast, you play by its rules
And those that accept it will never lose
So, Nikki lay back, and spread herself wide
She wasn’t self-conscious, had nothing to hide
Nasty Nick then ravished all of her treasures
And rewarded her with a variety of pleasures
So, they became a loving couple… that lusted daily without measure

Sweet Treat
Simple Sam asked his neighbor Sally for a spot of jam
Sally gave him a spot, which was fresh and hot,
And Sam said, “Thank you ma’am.”
Sam took the spot of jam, and placed it atop his Willie Pete
Then he said to his neighbor Sally, “Now for you I have a treat.”
“A nice treat indeed,” Sally did say, as she cast her clothes away
And she grabbed the treat, in her mouth it did go,
And she did eat…and eat…and eat
Till Sam cried out, “What have you done? You ate my Willie Pete!”
“Of course,” said Sally. “You offered it…
And I’m a cannibal who loves sweet meat.”

Sad Sally
Sad Sally was sad cuz’ she had a dad
But suddenly had lost him
Daddy and Sally had a play session one day
But she did something that cost him
After a wanking, spanking, and even dildo cranking
The session was put on pause
Cuz’ a cop came in, who heard Sally’s cries
Which he said, gave him ‘just cause’
Well, Sally stayed in character
She mistook it as part of the scene
So, at the stage she was asked her age
She said, “I may look older, but I’m just a pre-teen”
The cop said it was best if she got dressed
And out of the room she did go
And from that moment on till present-day
Where her Daddy went she did not know

Billy Bob & the Bees
Billy Bob had an outside job
Working around trees and bees
Then one day while taking a leak
A bee stung him quick as you please
It stung Billy Bob on the tip of his knob
And his pecker began to swell
The sting alone went from bad to worse
And he thought he was going to hell
When he wasn’t driven insane from the pain
And the pain began to subside
He hurried home and shagged his wife
And gave her a hell of a ride
His six-inch dick had grown to twelve
All on account of that bee
And his frigid wife is now hot to trot
In fact, she’s permanently frisky
To guarantee his dick will grow
They keep a jar of bees by the bed
But they’re only used when they’re ready to fuck;
After all, there’s limits to giving head


Have a good day!

Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: 1st List

Here is another new series. A modern version of the old bawdy rhymes and tongue-twisters found in the heyday of vaudeville  and burlesque.


How much would a Master munch if a Master could munch a mammary lunch?
With mammary meat a mouth-watering treat, and a side-order of nipples and areola,
Kneaded and breaded, quite comfortable when bedded,
And washed down with fresh mother’s milk, far more nourishing than cola.
– – – –
How much cum can a sub devour if told to suck her Dom’s cock for an hour?
If pre-cum does count it doubles the amount, and don’t forget the facial shower
Perhaps three or four table spoons at most, and that’s if it’s a young Dominant host
Lick, suck, and swallow, a chore for those who follow, but done for pleasure and not to boast
– – – –
Peter pounced upon pouting Patty after her primal proposition and his pecker repeatedly penetrated her parting pussy lips and properly cured Patty of her pouting.
– – – –
Jack and Jill ran up the hill when they had some time to kill
Jill ditched her clothes and exposed her holes, which Jack preceded to fill
He filled her mouth, then filled her cunt, then filled her ass in the grass
Then over his knee she went with glee, and was spanked as a sassy lass
– – – –
I like um’ to buck when I suck and I fuck, cuz’ I was born on the Texas prairie
I ride um’ hard, and put um’ away wet, each herd of horny as hell pussies
But you can keep your sweet virginal meat, that ain’t my kind of treat
I want um’ raw and wild, street-wise and untamed, like a house full of whores and hussies


Have a nice day!

All is fair in love and war

At first you swear you’ll never do

Anything you’d ever deplore

Until you come to realize

All is fair in love and war


I’ve spent my time in a uniform

Been ordered into “harm’s way”

I’ve fired a gun and killed someone’s son

And was glad to live another day


Days of “the end justifies the means”

I hoped never to live anymore

Till the perfect woman stole my heart

And all is fair in love and war


Something about her captured my thoughts

Out the door I didn’t want her walking

I knew I could love her forever

I just had to keep her talking


She didn’t want a relationship

She’d experienced heartache galore

But I refused to lose this jewel

Cuz’ all is fair in love and war


There was another in her life

But it was not a love triangle

He proved unworthy of her love

And true love was always my angle


He showed his love with money

Tried buying her heart from a store

I showed her true passion in action

Cuz’ all is fair in love and war


Whatever would help me I’d use

All that I have and my talents I’d give

If it meant my dream would come true

And forever with her I would live


I don’t give a damn about the rules

I’m addicted to her to my core

So I’ll do what it takes to please her

Yes, all is fair in love and war


And if someone ever hurts her

Or attempts to steal her away

They’ll feel how much I truly believe

There’s no such thing as “fair play”


I am an Alpha… and kat

Is the lady I truly adore

And I’m extremely territorial

And all is fair in love and war

love and war 8

D/s Debate

Are we so enlightened in the information age?

Let me give you a peek, allow me to set the stage

A college debate on a campus where you hope to learn

Yet myths, like wildfires, are taught, spread, and burn


But in this place of learning, where some allowed to teach

Think all they know is all there is, so that is all they preach

They point to words upon a page, a textbook filled with ink

And swear it’s true and factual, but printed lies still stink


Relationships were the core of today’s class debate

Specifically the D/s type; and the ill-informed spewed hate

Myths surrounding the topic were claimed to be fact

Vomiting their foolish claims with very childish tact


Did any have experience in what they talked about?

Not one was the consensus, but louder they did shout

“Well, I do live a D/s life,” I said with a great big smile

“And your myths are totally absurd; they miss it by a mile.”


Some say D/s is just for sex, some say it’s all about pain

Some say it’s a bully magnet, and others have a masochistic vein

Some say subs are always weak, and Doms are always cruel

But the only time the above applies is the exception to the rule


Some say it’s just for legal rape, some say it’s just for sin

Some say it’s just a mental quirk where boys can play like men

Some say it’s just misogynist, another exploitative tool

But all who claim such myths talk from their ass like a fool


D/s is merely an enhancement of a couple’s loving foundation

Free to be me, strong intimacy, and open communication

My sub is strong and bows to no one, except to me by choice

And though I make the final call, I always respect her voice


A legitimate Dom should never need to exert his will by force

The agreed upon dynamic holds both partners to their charted course

Though a firm hand may be needed it satisfies the sub’s desires

And both their wants and needs are met through maintaining passion’s fires


Supporting each other daily, allowing both personalities to shine

D/s is a win-win situation when hearts, minds, and actions align

So don’t believe the myths and tales by those without a clue

Cuz’ there will always be shithouse squawkers that talk out of their ass like a fool