Humble Pie

Humble—

The dictionary defines humble as: “having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience, etc.” when it is used as a noun; when used as a verb: “to make meek: to humble one’s heart.” There are other variations of definitions, but these two are the ones that speak to me.

A few days ago, I had to eat a big slice of humble pie, and I’m still feeling the effects; metaphorically, I’m still suffering horrible indigestion. And it has humbled me.

I won’t go into details (though Alpha has the right if he so chooses), too embarrassing for me to share even here where I can hide behind the veil of anonymity; but I will say I disrespected Alpha big time, and now I’m paying for it—or will pay for it. We’re in separate states right now, but when he gets home, I’m in for the spanking of my life. And I deserve whatever punishment he chooses to mete out…and probably more. But the physical punishment will pale in comparison to the anguish I feel in my heart.

I feel ashamed, embarrassed, and humbled because of what I did. And strangely enough, extremely submissive. Alpha handled the situation with his usual aplomb, never once raising his voice or showing anger; the man is the most unflappable person I’ve ever known. Yes, he let me know I had screwed up, that he was hurt, and there would be a price to pay; but he never berated me. I yearn to kneel before him, tell him I’m sorry (again), and hold out the belt to him. And when he comes home, I will do just that.

I’m not an old hand to D/s—Alpha being the only man I’ve ever submitted to—and how I’m feeling because of my horrible transgression has surprised me. Yes, I’m his sub, but I’ve never felt this level of submission before. I’ve never felt this level of reverence for Alpha before; yes, I have always respected him, but now it has gone deeper.

And I wonder why this has happened, why I feel even more deeply now that Alpha is my Dom and I am his submissive, that I am His, body, heart, and soul. Why would my screw-up cause my feelings to intensify?

I don’t understand it, but I think Alpha is pleased—not with my action, but how it ultimately affected my submission. He has always told me that he saw the submissive in me almost from the beginning, but I had my doubts if it was truly in my nature. But judging by how I’m feeling now, I have to admit that maybe he was right all along.

But it took the right man to draw it out of me: Alpha…my Dom…my Daddy.

Alpha’s response is here

More than just a word

Birthday 3

 

Kat

Someone said your name today

Then went about their business

I thought… how foolish

How inadequate

Do they not see the error of their way?

Acting as if it is a mere word

But it is a magical word

A word that holds an ocean

Our ocean of love

An ocean where you and I sail upon waves of wishes

Where we drown in our passions

And are reborn in pure pleasure

Cast forth…orgasmically…through water spouts

It is a word that travels

To the moon and back

From star to star

Throughout the universe and beyond

To the depths of my soul

To the end of my days

And it is a word that conquers time

The beginning of my life

The whole of my past

The all of my present

The forever of my future

My life after death

And it is the epitome of love

The fulfillment of my needs and desires

The bearer of my heart

Cherished and adored

Loved, liked, lusted

My all

My everything

Forever

And always

Kat… it is more than just a word

 

 

[HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!]

 

Birthday 5

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder

I’m lucky enough to have a sub that gets wet at the sound of my voice, constantly yearns to be with me, and desires sex as much as I do. So why the hell would I think a period of abstinence would make the heart grow fonder? Well, to be honest, normally I wouldn’t. And yet, it was an act of abstinence this past week that showed me how considerate and caring kat is, and reminded me once more why I love her unconditionally.

Medical issues, a trip to the emergency room, and several days of pain and little sleep are not conducive to maintaining a constant state of arousal. Gee, imagine that. But it did show what a blessing it is to have a relationship where each mate places the immediate needs of the other over their own.

Kat nearly worried herself sick over my pain and discomfort, and she constantly reminded me that she’s always there when I need her.

You may think this is normal in your life and relationship, and if so I congratulate you and hope it always remains that way. Unfortunately my past relationships have been very different. For instance, my first wife chose to create a full-blown scene in the hospital recovery room (after one of my many surgeries) over something she claims I said (that made no sense) while I was fading in and out—still under the influence of the anesthesia. And my second wife—who stayed home while I was in the VA hospital for surgery—wanted me to fuck her brains out the moment I came home after a week all bandaged up with dozens of internal stitches and external staples.

That’s why it is so refreshing to have kat by my side. She is considerate, not selfish and self-centered. And even though I’m the Dom and she’s my sub, she worries as much about me as I do her.

However, with that said, she also knows when to please me.

She knew I was feeling much better today so she surprised me with an arousing opportunity that I immediately jumped on (more than once), followed by cuddling and conversation, and she topped it off with sexy gifts she knows I treasure.

So, in this instance, abstinence did make the heart grow fonder. But it also created enough sexual tension and anticipation to explode when my physical ability once again matched my desire for my sexy adorable sub—he says with a huge smile on his face.

Dreamer and Dream

Into the room where I did go

Saw kat, my love, with her head hung low

Inside she screams

Cuz’ she has no dreams

While mine continue to flow

 

Fret not my love, my life, my queen

You hold the best part of the scheme

You do not lose

When you snooze

I’m merely the dreamer—but you are the dream

 

A dream come true is your part to play

From dark to light my heart you do sway

My only pleasure

My dearest treasure

My cherished beta who loves and obeys

dreamer7

Creative Juices

[Warning: Mature content]

My sexy kat is intelligent, fun loving, and has creative talent, all of which I admire. However, while I rarely experience creative blocks (because I have numerous creative outlets), sometimes it takes her awhile to get the creative juices flowing. And during the intermission between good and great ideas she has a tendency to get bored. And when kat gets bored she can become a pain in the ass. Continue reading “Creative Juices”