The necessities of daily life and time spent away from your mate can easily create situations that may affect your relationship. This can happen to anyone, not just those of us in D/s relationships.
Job, family, kids, health problems, and times apart can sap your energy and steer your focus away from your mate.
The recent incident involving kat occurred during a period when a combination of issues commanded more of our time.
Since the new year began I have endured two emergency room visits, which led to hospital stays of several days each, along with rehabilitation time and multiple doctor visits. And this came after taking on an extra project for an organization I belong to (that I spoke about in a prior post). Plus, kat and I spend extended periods with me out of state.
Kat does her best to help in this partnership, but as Dom, it is my responsibility to try and keep everything running as smoothly as possible during these periods; including allotting enough time and energy for kat and the relationship. But in the latest situation the extenuating factors mentioned above clouded my eyes to some warning signals that I normally catch.
This does not absolve kat of willfully choosing to do something she knew was wrong. We’re both firm believers in accountability for our choices and actions. She knows this, accepted it, and has atoned for her actions.
I could have made her punishment harder, but I took the extenuating circumstances into consideration.
I equally held myself accountable, extenuating circumstances or not, for my lapse in observation and judgment. The fact that I was going through a healing period, was responsible for a new project, and away from kat for extended periods is no excuse.
The responsibility ultimately falls on the leader. And I am kat’s Dom and take that responsibility seriously.
Since this situation has occurred I’ve instituted several protocols and duties for kat, along with additional Dom duties for myself, in an effort to keep our relationship a top priority at all times. And to counter the detrimental effects caused by the daily grind and other influences.
It’s too early to tell how these additional measures will fare against new obstacles. But they have already pulled kat and I closer. We have even joked about having that “new love feeling and spark” all over again. And that alone makes the extra effort worth it.