Disrespect

Kat knew alcohol was no excuse. It merely lowered her inhibitions enough to follow through on something she had been curious about for quite a while. What would Alpha do if she ever disrespected him.

Kneeling beside the bed—wearing nothing but her collar and panties, with the belt draped over her thighs—she recalled how she had originally envisioned disrespecting Alpha while they were alone. She had only wanted to push it just enough to see what he would do.

She could not get enough of his erotic spankings and impact play. And she was surprised to realize the additional control he exerted over her during maintenance spankings actually increased her arousal substantially; so much so, she became increasingly interested in knowing what a real punishment session would be like.

She and Alpha had been together several months at this point. But they were so compatible, and communicated so well, that she had never done anything deserving punishment. So, it was up to her to initiate an incident that would end in a punishment session. Unfortunately, the plan went astray.

Kat thought they would be alone on this Friday evening, but a couple of Alpha’s old military buddies dropped by unannounced, with their ‘main squeezes’ riding bitch on the back of their Harleys.

Alpha had served in an elite military unit prior to receiving a medical discharge after being wounded.

During his tour of duty, he and four of his teammates, all Harley riders, formed a tight bond: a real ‘band of brothers’ as the saying goes.

Kat had heard stories of how tight the guys were—having gone in-and-out of harm’s way multiple times together—but this was the first time she had seen it firsthand.

Normally, she would be supportive in such situations. But, the combination of the night not going as planned, having to play hostess while entertaining the two ladies she’d found little in common with, and a few too many alcoholic beverages set the stage for the inevitable—she blatantly disrespected Alpha in front of his special guests.

Alpha, always in control of his emotions, calmly ended the evening and bid his friends adieu, after setting up another get-together in a couple weeks. Before locking up the house and turning everything off, he told Kat to strip down to panties only, choose an implement of punishment, and kneel beside the bed.

The time alone waiting for Alpha to enter the bedroom heightened both her apprehension and arousal. She knew her Dom well enough to know he would never lose his cool: he loved her and would keep her protected and safe. But she equally knew being disrespected was a major issue with him. He treats everyone with respect and expects it in return. So, she knew he would not let this pass. She only hoped she could endure it without falling to pieces, or getting mad; after all, she brought it on herself. And yet, in spite of it all, she could not deny the arousal that enveloped her with the knowledge that the man she loved would exercise his complete authority over her. Something that has always made her weak in the knees, soft in the heart, and wet between her legs.

During the beginning of their 24/7 D/s relationship it was agreed that Alpha had complete authority over her body, and while she was allowed hard and soft limits for normal sex sessions, she had no say over her punishments.

A shiver traversed her spine as she heard footfalls in the hallway, and she squeezed her thighs together.

She felt his presence enter the room before seeing him, and her breath became shallower.

He came up behind her and she saw something quickly drop by her eyes, then felt the soft fabric of a scarf separate her lips. It caught her by surprise, as Alpha secured it in place. He has shoved her panties in her mouth on occasion, but he has never gagged her securely like this before.

“Your mouth has got you into trouble,” Alpha said calmly. “And I’m not going to listen to any excuses.”

He tested the tension on the gag: tight enough to impede speech, but loose enough to allow air-flow.

He grabbed a fistful of Kat’s hair as he leaned forward to speak close to her ear.

“You will take the consequence of your action,” said Alpha, “because it’s obvious that you did it on purpose.”

Kat noticed that Alpha’s tone was different, then she realized why. He wasn’t just disappointed in her, she had really hurt him. And she immediately felt awful.

She had been so focused on the possibility of experiencing a new level of impact pleasure/pain, that she failed to contemplate what her action would do to Alpha emotionally.

Alpha is a strong man and rarely opens up emotionally to anyone; yet, he has opened up to Kat more than anyone… ever. And she just did something to him she knows he hates.

Kat no longer wanted to experience the punishment out of kinky curiosity. She now believed she deserved whatever punishment her Daddy planned to administer.

“Arise,” said Alpha, “and stand centered at the foot of the bed.”

Kat complied.

“Drop the belt on the bed.”

She did.

“Bend forward,” he said. “Arms straight out to the sides.”

She got into position, and Alpha secured her wrists to the cuffs and chains attached to the posts.

He positioned himself behind and slightly left of Kat’s bent form. He then caressed her pantie-clad ass, as he spoke.

“There will be after-care,” he said. “We will then put it behind us and move forward.”

He slid his hand under the waistband and pushed her panties down, again surprising Kat. He’s always begun the erotic and maintenance spankings with her panties up. And that wasn’t the end of her surprises.

Alpha reached forward and took hold of the belt.

Oh, my god! Kat thought. He’s not going to warm me up with hand spanking first.

Alpha leaned forward to speak to Kat once more.

“Erotic and maintenance spankings are to be enjoyed,” he said, as if reading her mind. “Punishment would not be a deterrent if I made it pleasurable.”

In the moment that Alpha stood, a side of Kat both understood and accepted the need for punishment to remain a deterrent.

Then another surprise occurred. As Alpha reared back, then delivered the first belt lash across Kat’s bare bottom, thoughts from Kat’s darker, deeper, kinkier side arose, and she couldn’t help getting aroused over being totally controlled by the man she adored…the same as when he ravished her passionately. So, while part of her disliked the intense pain, the other side of her hoped it was just the beginning of a long hard session.

Make-Up Sex: Does it live up to the hype?

[Allow me to stress, as I often do, that this blog is primarily targeting loving couples in a 24/7 D/s relationship.]

 

Contrary to Hollywood’s scripted outcomes, the testosterone testimonies and campus confessions of coeds-gone-wild, and lackadaisical writers filling space or spitting out sound-bytes, make-up sex isn’t the perfect cure-all for all relationship problems. But far too often couples still buy into the hype.

Grandiose claims are everywhere, like Lauren Martin’s article entitled, “Why make-up sex is the best part of every relationship.”

Martin claims “fighting is just a precursor to sex,” that “fighting is no longer cold…but so, so hot” in the “realm of love.” She further claims, “We’d be lying if we said that most of us haven’t picked a fight for that special reconciliation that comes right after it.”

If true, what does that say about human relationships, or the species in general? Yet, there are those who obviously accept such superficiality.

In a Men’s Fitness article by Amber Madison, entitled, “The guy’s guide to make-up sex,” she gives a four-point plan on how to zip through the fight with one goal in mind—to get to the sex quicker!

Well, it’s nice to know they have their priorities straight. Though I imagine these same deep thinkers probably wonder why their relationships fall apart, and why there’s a fifty-percent divorce rate.

Sex is a weak foundation
I have never seen or heard of a successful life-long relationship built solely on a foundation of sex.

Sure, sex can be passionate, exciting, playful, kinky, and many other things; but no sex, no matter how good, can sustain a relationship alone.

Even if you could engage in sex two hours a day, every day, that is still only one-twelfth the time you and your mate are together. And what happens when it becomes less and less time having sex? Or, when adjustments have to be made, along with times with no sex, because of illness, injury, or age

Where does that leave people like Martin, who claim make-up sex is the best part of every relationship?

Stronger foundation
Loving relationships should be built on much stronger foundations. They need to be built on a solid foundation of unconditional love, and fortified with compatibility, constant communication, honesty, trust, and mutual respect. Sex, especially in D/s relationships, should be used to enhance the loving relationship that is solidly grounded and fortified.

Make-up sex is no cure-all
There are situations where make-up sex seems to shine, but that still does not make it a positive.

In an article entitled, “5 Things No One Tells You About Make-Up Sex,” by Elizabeth Enochs, she claims make-up sex can be “superhot,” but only if arguing over something “stupid and trivial,” like whose turn it is to take out the trash. She goes on to say, “…in my limited experience, relying too much on make-up sex to smooth things over with your partner is both unhealthy and unsatisfying in the long-run.” And she further contends that if sex is used “to avoid talking about problems, or you frequently replace apologizing for inappropriate behavior with post-fight sex sessions,” it will almost always disappoint you, as well as damage your relationship.

Martin acknowledges the negatives, but takes a cavalier attitude. She says, “Of course, make-up sex can many times just be a diversion from the real problem. Instead of talking, couples are taking to the sheets and the problems aren’t getting resolved. But who cares?” (emphasis added)

Well, obviously she doesn’t care. And how many other relationships fall into disrepair because of such foolish beliefs?

In a Psychology Today article, Seth Meyers (Psy.D), states, “In general, make-up sex is bad news because it reinforces fighting and emotional drama.” However, he does stipulate that, “In a healthy relationship, two people can come together after a disagreement and share physical intimacy because they feel close.” But he goes on to say, “the search for greater intimacy and trust isn’t what motivates most make-up sex.” He claims, “most make-up sex results from having felt and expressed extreme negative emotions during a heated argument, without any true resolution afterward.” The individuals “hunger to switch gears and jump to the opposite end of the spectrum—to feel the high that comes with making up.” And for emphasis, he contends, “Honestly, it’s not that different from an addict who needs a hit of cocaine.”

Unfortunately, for relationships, it can be just as destructive as a drug addiction.

Testimonies
KG: It started slow, but picked up steam quickly. We were like sparring partners, bantering with words until someone said something bad enough to begin the fight. Boom! It was on. But then I didn’t care. I’d let her think she’d won just to fucking get it on.
(KG’s relationship was over just shy of a year.)

BP: We both had fiery tempers. We fought a lot. It made for great sex. Passionate, ya’ know. But nothing ever got settled. So, we split.

SY: Every weekend like clockwork, he’d drink then pick a fight. It was a game, a damn game. I knew because he never ever wanted to seriously discuss anything. Then he used that ‘never go to sleep angry’ line to push for make-up sex. And he wouldn’t stop till he got it, no matter how long it took. So, I gave it up just to shut him up—but I hated every minute of it. And soon hated him just as bad.

False intimacy
The intensity some people feel during make-up sex is often misconstrued as loving intimacy. Sadly, it is not.

Meyers states, “During make-up sex, couples often express extreme positive emotions, and they reach a momentary state of bliss. They declare grand statements of love and feel, in that moment… they belong together.”

Meyers rightfully contends that is not real intimacy. “Intimacy is about mutual love and balance, while drama is about extremes and fantasies.”

Allow me to state once more, make-up sex is no cure-all, and it’s not real intimacy. In fact, it is usually after couples have experienced the passionate sexual release that they go the other way: they feel sad, depressed, and even lonely when all the unresolved issues come crashing back into their minds, along with the old feelings.

Too many negatives
In my research, observation, and experience, I’ve come to the conclusion that make-up sex has too many negatives in the long-run.

For the most part, it fails to resolve the issues argued about, and it will not make you forget the issues when they come crashing back after the sexual stimulation settles.

The actual sex act rarely lives up to the hype; and even when it does, the unresolved issues bring disappointment and frustration. And when make-up sex sucks it compounds the issues even more.

Likewise, too many couples think make-up sex is an appropriate substitute for apologies and communication. They are wrong on both counts. Such beliefs and actions teardown respect and trust.

Similarly, the couples that succumb to the addictive qualities of make-up sex, discussed by Meyers, develop an unhealthy habit that eventually takes its toll on the relationship.

In my opinion, and the preponderance of evidence seems to back it up, the only time make-up sex shows any value is following trivial arguments (like whose turn it is to walk the dog), or when the argument topic is actually a lack of sex.

Last word
If you build your relationship on a solid foundation of unconditional love, and fortify it with compatibility, constant communication, honesty, trust, respect, etc., you will be able to deal with problematic issues appropriately. Such a foundation also allows for a vibrant sex life that can be passionate, playful, exploratory, completely satisfying—lacking nothing. You will not need to be tempted with the myth-factor of make-up sex which, in the long-run, does more harm than good. In fact, loving couples that communicate well, and resolve issues quickly have better sex lives (quantity and quality) then couples that argue a lot with many unresolved issues. And they spare each other the hurt feelings.

Hopefully, you’ll make your choice based on your heart and mind, and not on your libido.

Alpha’s Quotes: 4th installment

This is the fourth installment of the new series of humorous, witty, or common sense quotes by Alpha.

 

“Many Doms enjoy male-G spot stimulation, and some actually man-up to it—either way, subs service their ass.”

“D/s isn’t about following trends—not even those started in the D/s world.”

“A sub that kneels out of love and respect will service you for life. A sub that’s forced to kneel will forever cause you strife.”

“Relationship fact: there is no worse fate than having an incompatible mate.”

“A sub that accepts a poser’s proposition plays a main role in their own destruction.”

“A Dom that carelessly forgets after-care for their sub will soon not have a sub to care-after.”

“Even a firm butt spanked hard becomes a tender treat.”

“A Dom that doesn’t know the difference between flogging a sub and flogging a log will forever be stuck flogging his.”

“A Dom that masters his tongue communicates well—and performs amazing cunnilingus.”

“Self-discovery continues throughout a D/s journey for everyone—except quitters.”

 

Have a good day!

Alpha’s Quotes: 3rd list

Here’s the third installment of the humorous, witty, or common-sense quotes.

 

“There are many ways to make a sub caterwaul, but spanking, reaming, and fucking work so well, you’ll probably forget the others.”

“A flatulent sub that is bound and gagged can’t warn her Dom as he starts to ream her.”

“An effortless Dom isn’t worth a sub’s effort to satisfy.”

“Only a true switch can top herself / himself.”

“Even a mature Dom wonders if he’s in the Twilight Zone when his sub’s time of the month goes from ‘yes, Sir’ to ‘oh, hell no!’”

“It’s foolish to boast about what you’re packing when you can’t perform once you penetrate.”

“Deep, low and slow can fuck for hours, while fast can’t last, so you’re quick to the showers.”

“A sub that’s nervous won’t do you much service, so ease her in and let the pleasure begin.”

“Mature Doms have the ability to make good decisions—which is achieved from the ability to learn from their bad decisions along the way.”

“Topping from the bottom is like pissing in the wind, it’s bound to come back on you.”

 

Have a good day.

Alpha’s Quotes: continued

Here’s the 2nd installment of the new series on quotes (humorous, witty, or basic common sense).

“Beware subs—don’t piss-off your Master if you’re not into golden showers.”

“A Dom that quarrels with a sub commits a major flub.”

“If it was really about tightness, no pussy would ever be fucked again after the Dom got his first piece of ass.”

“Make sure your sub is cleaned out prior to anal penetration or you may need to clean the sheets.”

“If you wake-up in a hole and reality is better than a wet dream, your sub’s a keeper.”

“Reaming an ass before it’s cleaned is doing it ass-backwards.”

“Don’t smack an ass that’s full of gas!”

“A sub that fails to serve her Dom is sub-standard, and may soon be replaced by a substitute.”

“Doms with no self-control are as worthless to a sub as a tick on a dick; and an uncontrollable sub is as satisfying as a eunuch in a harem of hussies.”

“Sloppy seconds are only acceptable if you also went first.”


Have a good day!