Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: 8th edition

[Alpha’s modern version of Bawdy Humor and Erotica similar to the Vaudeville & Burlesque periods.]

No Clowning Around
I was handed a flyer
From a modern town crier
Announcing an upcoming event
I was in town for a short stay
So, I might as well play
Especially if I can get sexually spent
I mistook “a rousing good time”
For “an arousing good time,”
And in this case the two didn’t mix
I arrived with a sexy move
But quickly lost my groove
When I saw clowns with bags of tricks
Clown feet and clown face
Are a dimension out of place
I see nothing sexy in slapstick
Contrary to the rumor
I do have a sense of humor
But no balloon animals on my dick
Keep your flower that shoots jelly
And your jack-in-the-box willie
Just give me tits, cunt, and ass
The clown car is not a sex-mobile
And a clown chick is no deal
Who wants a honking horn BJ? How crass!
Send the clowns back to clown school
Just leave me a nympho or two
And enough time for a multiple orgasm
Cease the clown parade
And the belly-laughs sex charade
You can’t climax with a stitch-in-the-side spasm
A dozen clowns in a phone booth: “Hello”
Now they frolic in a pool of Jello
Orgy-like it may seem, but it ain’t
They make body parts wiggle and jiggle
No orgasmic scream, just a giggle
I need to go back to the rez’ and the war-paint

Gag free
The biggest cunnilingus killjoy
Are still curlicues where tongues deploy
So, shave the hair
Keep your pussy bare
For a gag free delight: Oh boy!

Anal shag
The rhythm of the rut
While penetrating the butt
In an anal shag
By the Dominant stag
Builds the arousal to pop his nut

 

Have a good day!

D/s: Pegging (one Dom’s perspective)

Pegging has various uses and definitions in the D/s community. The primary definitions are as follows:

Peg punishment (also called “sitting on a peg”): the use of a butt plug, dildo, etc., as a punishment—sometimes with humiliation and/or masturbation or edging added.

Pegging preparation: the use of a butt plug, dildo, etc., to arouse and prepare for anal play (butt-fucking, fisting, etc.).

Strap-on pegging: the act of using a strap-on dildo/vibrator for penetration (predominantly referring to female-to-male anal penetration).

Sitting on a peg
Many Doms—especially those in DD/lg and M/s relationships—use some form of pegging punishment. It is often seen in the form of a stool or bench, or a combination thereof that the sub is made to sit on for a specified time period.

Humiliation is often added to lesser or greater degrees; like when a sub is stuck in the corner facing the wall (lesser degree) or placed in the center of the room to be gawked at (greater degree) by Dom and/or others if at a public forum, like a dungeon. The latter is seen more with M/s pairings. And the addition of masturbation or edging creates another level of humiliation for punishment.

Pegging preparation
Doms in most types of D/s relationships have used, or continue to use butt-plugs, dildoes, and other adult toys as preparation with subs for anal play (butt-fucking, fisting, etc.). The type and time of preparation for each sub can vary greatly. Some use it only as part of the foreplay just prior to the anal play, while others may be plugged all day.

Every D/s relationship is different, and every sub has a different tolerance level for the methods used to prepare them. Do what works best for you and your sub.

Strap-on pegging
Most people in the D/s community equate this type of pegging with Fem-Doms/Dommes, since it is a standard practice of many F/m relationships—although it’s not in all F/m pairings, since there are many male subs that consider anal penetration a hard limit.

There are, however, more Doms using this form of pegging in their relationships. The numbers continue to grow as more Doms are educated to the benefits of cock-milking, the male G-spot, or p-gasm.

Do Dom and sub switch?
If a Dom wants to personally enjoy the pleasures of anal play: cock-milking, male G-spot, etc., does he and his sub have to switch (temporarily change their dynamic)? Absolutely not!

I’ve discussed this principle in other posts. Just because the Dom opts to be in a bottom position physically does not change the mental and emotional dynamic.

However, due to the nature of this particular act more care may be needed within the Dom and sub exchange to ensure the sub does not start to top from the bottom. It is always beneficial for the Dom to reaffirm dominance before and after this type of personal pegging. It is also a good idea for the Dom to keep some form of physical control of his sub during the pegging. For instance, have a leash or chain attached to the sub’s collar and gripped by the Dom. The Dom may even choose to blindfold the sub so that everything is done by the sub feeling their way while following the Dom’s commands and directions.

One Dom I know of makes their sub don a mask with a penis gag before allowing her to peg him. Another Dom fills his sub’s pussy and ass with remote controlled vibrators before she’s allowed to peg him. But you really don’t need all that if the Dom and sub simply have good communication skills, a strong love and respect for each other, and a commitment to their D/s dynamic.

Last word
With a little creativity and imagination pegging can be a welcomed addition in any D/s relationship. Work it out between you and keep safety in mind.
For any straight males that think thoughts or desires to have anal play or penetration shows homosexual tendencies, that’s absurd. You need to read my article “D/s and the Male G-spot”, along with other articles on the prostate, cock-milking, and the p-gasm (including medical articles).

 

 

Have a good day.

Lovers Touch

It’s not always from orifice with kat I cum
Delight is equally found between nimble fingers and thumb
With pleasing softness do they journey make
Up, down, and around the manly snake
Eliciting an occasional spasmodic quiver and quake
Sparks connection with my heart, emotion does move
For all with kat enhances thru our love
Now mind and body, pleasure partners crowd
Music plays and Eros laughs aloud
When reality and fantasy thru arousal now does cloud
kat plies me still with manual stimulation
With wicked grin while mastering mutual masturbation
I feel the rise of urgent primal need
As her unbounded skill charms forth my manly seed
While thru my veins the lusty liquid flies
I think of poets long ago, who claimed “tis’ how one dies”
A gushing forth of pure delight…
From lovers touch and lovers sight

Best Laid Plans

I’ve rode motorcycles most of my life. No matter which way my energy flows riding a bike grounds me. When I’m angry I ride. When I’m happy or sad I ride. If I’m confused and need to think… you got it…I ride.

I’m sure you get my drift. So, anytime I have to do without riding my life seems out of balance. Exactly the condition I found myself in lately because some drunk motherfucker cut short when turning left from the road he was on and clipped the front of my bike while I was in the right-hand turn lane.

While my bike jolted and twisted out from under me to the left, the inertia catapulted me ass over end to the right. And the intoxicated buffoon continued down the road, weaving all over the place: a hit and run.

So, you can imagine how good it felt to be astride my new Harley-Davidson as I cruised down the street, cut the engine, and coasted into our driveway. I wanted it to be a surprise to kat.

She wasn’t expecting me home for another hour. And she was in the bedroom at the back of the house exercising with the music playing. So, she was startled, like a deer in the headlights, when I entered.

“What are you doing home so early?” she asked.

“I want some quality time with you,” I said.

Which piqued her interest.

“But not here,” I said. “Get dressed and wear your black knee-high boots.”

Kat took some time to freshen up, but was still ready within a half-hour.

She rarely asks where we’re going. She knows me too well. It can be anything from a walk in the park to an elegant dinner to a week in Las Vegas and I still won’t tell.

In my view, everywhere we go is to be used for quality time. Yes, even day-to-day running around. It took me a long time to find my perfect mate. So, we try to make positive memories out of practically everything we do.

When kat was about to exit the house, I stopped her.

“Pull your leggings and panties down,” I said. “And face the door.”

She looked at me inquisitively but complied.

“Spread your cheeks,” I said, while reaching into my pocket.

Knowing what was coming this time, she again complied.

I placed a large dollop of Astro-Glide on the top of the bejeweled butt-plug, then began to rotate it around her tight little anus. After the plug and her asshole were well lubed I began to tease her while testing the resistance of her sphincter to accept the object.

I continued until she began to softly moan and the resistance waned. And I slowly but firmly eased the plug thru the puckered portal of pleasure that has given me more positive memories than I could ever recount.

I grabbed a fistful of kat’s hair and held it tightly as I whispered close to her ear.

“Release your cheeks,” I said. “Now bend forward, hands on knees, legs apart.”

She obeyed.

Without hesitation or explanation, I began to spank kat’s sexy ass. I predominantly start barehanded, and this was no exception. Mostly to warm her up before the harder spanking to come; but also, for my pleasure: enjoying skin-on-skin.

It didn’t take long for her to moan, and her body squirm under my tactile attention. And the double sensations—butt-plug and stinging cheeks—quickly brought her to the edge of orgasm… which I denied.

I gave her a moment to compose herself as I grabbed a belt and folded it in thirds (my preferred style) instead of double like most people I’ve seen.

The swish of the air, loud crack of leather on bare flesh, and the suppressed yelp elicited from kat sent chills thru my body and my cock strained against the zipper of my jeans.

Kat’s whimpers and moans, when she’s completely aroused, also thrill me to the core.

Fuck it! I thought.

I originally planned on denying kat an orgasm before we took the ride. But I’m a spontaneous kind of guy, who thinks most plans are just guidelines. They can be altered at any time.

I gave kat two groupings of fifteen swats with the belt, then fondled and finger-fucked her sopping wet cunt after each grouping. Then finished with a long, hard grouping of thirty swats, that she couldn’t quite finish, beginning an impact orgasm after the twenty-seventh swat: though I finished the other three anyway.

Kat screamed “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” to begin the physical release, which lasted over a minute.

During that time my want became need, and I firmly pushed her against the door, spread her legs wider, forced her to thrust her ass out, shoved down my jeans and shorts, and thrust my throbbing cock deep into her wet pussy.

I fiercely wanted an orgasm but I remained in control and alternated my thrusting patterns. I slammed it in and eased it out, followed by steady half-in half-out thrusts, followed by a rapid in-and-out motion just at the entrance, followed by the slow but constant deep thrusts—which brought kat off again. So, I jackhammered her deep and hard, which sent another orgasm coursing thru her body as I finally shot my cum inside her quivering cunt.

I held her firmly till the throes of orgasmic release subsided, then continued to hold her simply because I love to.

I still planned on showing her the new Harley and taking her for a ride. But, at this point, we could both use a little freshening up.

Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: 6th Installment

This is a modern version of Bawdy Word Play, Erotica, or Tongue Twisters similar to the Vaudeville & Burlesque periods.

 

Joy lost, Joy gained
A boy with a toy had hours of joy
From dawn till dusk he did play
But the boy with the toy lost his joy
When a bully took his toy away
Then a girl with a pearl that liked to twirl
Met the boy in the woods one day
Saw a tear in his eye; said, “Please, don’t cry
We can share what no bully can take away.”
“I have a lock and you have a key,
It’ll bring us pleasure and great joy.”
“What trick are you trying to play?
I see no lock or key,” said the boy.
“Not in our hands, but between our thighs
Is the lock and key that will bring us highs”
Then she gave him a look,
And allowed him to touch
Then she treated him to a taste
Which he loved very much
And his years of being chaste
Appeared to be coming to an end
As she guided his cock into her cunt
And softly whispered, “I like you more than a friend.”

Belle’s Bell
Belle’s bell is rung with dick and tongue
When on the clit it plays
But when alone there’s still a tone
For Belle has found other ways
Without dick or tongue her bell is still rung
When each musical finger strays

New Girl
My new girl is not from this planet
Her twat muscles are as strong as granite
The tight restriction
Causes fiery friction
That gets smoking hot to trot when you fan it

Massage
The closest thing to a magic love potion
Is a full-body erotic massage with lotion
You knead it like dough
Arousal ebbs and flows
And climax comes in waves like the ocean