Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: 6th Installment

This is a modern version of Bawdy Word Play, Erotica, or Tongue Twisters similar to the Vaudeville & Burlesque periods.

 

Joy lost, Joy gained
A boy with a toy had hours of joy
From dawn till dusk he did play
But the boy with the toy lost his joy
When a bully took his toy away
Then a girl with a pearl that liked to twirl
Met the boy in the woods one day
Saw a tear in his eye; said, “Please, don’t cry
We can share what no bully can take away.”
“I have a lock and you have a key,
It’ll bring us pleasure and great joy.”
“What trick are you trying to play?
I see no lock or key,” said the boy.
“Not in our hands, but between our thighs
Is the lock and key that will bring us highs”
Then she gave him a look,
And allowed him to touch
Then she treated him to a taste
Which he loved very much
And his years of being chaste
Appeared to be coming to an end
As she guided his cock into her cunt
And softly whispered, “I like you more than a friend.”

Belle’s Bell
Belle’s bell is rung with dick and tongue
When on the clit it plays
But when alone there’s still a tone
For Belle has found other ways
Without dick or tongue her bell is still rung
When each musical finger strays

New Girl
My new girl is not from this planet
Her twat muscles are as strong as granite
The tight restriction
Causes fiery friction
That gets smoking hot to trot when you fan it

Massage
The closest thing to a magic love potion
Is a full-body erotic massage with lotion
You knead it like dough
Arousal ebbs and flows
And climax comes in waves like the ocean

Alpha’s Bawdy Word Play: 4th Installment

A modern version of the old Vaudeville and Burlesque bawdy humor, erotica, and tongue twisters.

 

No Wasted Days or Nights
Wasted days when nights are nigh
Wasted nights when sun is high
But never a day is wasted when
And never a night if you surely begin
To pleasure your treasure between her thighs
A kiss, a nibble, a tickle or lick
A finger, a tongue, a hard-throbbing dick
A whimper, a moan, “Oh my!” goes her cry
“To ever be without it, I shall surely die!”
If you elicit that cry, a good man you be
Just never break her heart… and always satisfy her pussy.

Karaoke
Karaoke is a joke to those who cannot sing
Some balk, most squawk, causing eardrums to sting
It’s odd how people that can’t carry a tune in a bucket
Forego self-respect, get up and say, “fuck it”
Some croak like a bullfrog, some squeak like a mouse
Some bark like a dead dog in an old haunted house
Some neigh like a jackass imitating a mule
And most are tone-deaf: I think it’s a rule
Some snort like a pachyderm with a cold in its trunk
And many slur words like a droopy-lipped drunk
Some snicker like a virgin with wedding night jitters
Others snap, crackle, and pop like they’re deep-frying fritters
And many wheeze, sneeze, and cough while the crowd does scoff
Though most never seem to notice with their heads in the clouds aloft
Perhaps that’s the secret to having fun
Be completely tuned out… or just plain dumb
Anyone for karaoke?

3 Pecker-heads
Willie, Wilbur, and Walt One-Eye
All from the same Pecker-head kin
Chose a nymph with a penchant for
Skin upon skin upon skin
Willie chose the oral route
He had a hankering for a hummer
Wilbur’s load went in the Vaginal Road
His favorite choice is a moist new comer
And Walt, who was flirty, liked it down and dirty
So, he popped the Anal Highway
The tight enough to cry way
And he spanked and beat it like a drummer

Mistaken Ex
My Ex mistook boys for men, and thought I’d be a cuckold
They came at me with dicks in hand, thinking they’d be suckled
I made them all scream
I made them all ream
Then beat them senseless with a belt unbuckled